anonymous teacher blog...

Oooh, man...

2009-04-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a while...nearly a school year.

I only have the energy for a bloggette tonight, but I figured I'd put the pinky toe in the blogosphere pool and try to get back into blogging.

It's been a long year, mainly because of master's classes and co-teaching issues involving a complete lack of respect and professionalism.

But I was given one of the best compliments I've ever received the other day...not necessarily because of what was said, but because of who said it.

I was in talking to a colleague during my prep. This is a man who has dedicated his life to teaching. He gives his students his home phone number on the first day of class, has them over to his house for dinner, and is the epitome of dedication to the profession. We don't always see eye-to-eye, as I am beginning my career, and he is towards the end; he teaches honors students, and I teach basic; he is rather old fashioned and conservative, and I am not...typically. Anyway, I began to walk out of his room, and he called me back in; I assumed it was for computer issues.

When I walked in, he became rather awkward and looked down at his desk. He finally said, "Mrs. Anonymous, I just wanted to let you know that I think you're a hell of a teacher. We may not always agree, but I think you're great at what you do." Even thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. To have this man, who is such an amazing teacher and whom all his students look up to, compliment me...it meant a lot.

p.s. Maybe this isn't a bloggette.

Avoidance

2008-08-31T08:49:00.000-07:00

I've now done everything except what I'm supposed to be doing. I've got a ton of reading to do for my class (but luckily I don't have class tomorrow), and I've got several small assignments to grade from each of my classes. Clearly this is going to be a horribly disorganized post, as I'm really just typing to avoid work. I don't really have anything to say, as I haven't even gotten into my routine, let alone started analyzing my kids and my teaching. I'm also making lists of things I can do besides work while I type, which isn't helping my organizational skills at all. (p.s. The grocery store is pretty high on my to-do list. I'm trying to avoid cafeteria food this year by bringing my lunch.)

I was going to start the grading yesterday, but I really wasn't feeling well. I napped all afternoon instead while hubby cleaned and mowed. I'm still not feeling exceptionally great, but I could pop a few cold pills and do my grading if I really wanted to. The assignments I have to grade really don't take any sort of a brain to go over, but I'd rather veg on the couch and watch awful tv or even read some of my for-fun books. (I just finished The Black Tattoo this morning. Really good.)

I'm really having a difficult time getting into the swing of things this year. I think it's because I taught summer school. It took so much extra work that it really drained me. The kids were a rag-tag bunch...all those who failed the year before in one room. You can imagine the motivation they had. Plus, there was no administrator available. I had to handle all discipline problems myself...and boy, were there problems. To top it off, I didn't have access to the student information, so I couldn't get phone numbers to call or even send letters home. Even the extra padding in my paycheck didn't make it worth it. Unless they completely overhaul it for next summer, I think they'll find it difficult to staff it...but, we shall see.

I said in my last post that my kids are great, and for the most part they are. But I have a few I think will be challenging. They're just very moody kids. Some days are great and we get along well, then other days...I also had a student who refused to do an in-class assignment on the first day off class, but I think I scared him away. I gave the blank sheet back to him several times and told him I wouldn't give him a zero. He could either do it, spend lunch with me until he did it, or take it up with Assistant Principal Bulldog. He eventually decided to do the assignment, but he has since been moved to another class (or possibly another school). I can't decide whether it's a good or bad thing. (p.s. Another thing to add to the to-do list: paint my nails. I've actually stopped biting them, so I have nails to paint.)

I'm also not sure what to think of my co-teacher this year. This will be our second year together, and I adored her last year. But she's gotten in pretty thick with some people I can't really stand, people who are in it for themselves and promotions and not the kids. So far I haven't seen that in her, but they're the type of people that most of us avoid. I suppose we'll see.

Anyway, afternoon to-do list:

paint nails
grocery shop
make lunches for next week
grade (??)
get coffee
plan for next week
make brownies for hubby
straighten living room
veg on the couch like a lazy bum watching "I Love Money" and TLC

p.s.

2008-08-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

I've got this printed out and hanging behind my desk. I love it!! Excellent, Bud.

Oh, holy cow!!

2008-08-30T11:55:00.000-07:00

How long has it been?? Way too long. I'm going to quickly update you all, then I have grading to do. I miss blogging!!

I've been married for nearly a year.
I taught summer school over the summer and will never do it again. It was horribly disorganized, and the kids were a mess. Imagine all those kids who failed junior English in one classroom...not a good time at all.
School has begun again. I have remedial freshmen, and average sophomores and juniors. My students are great so far (knock on wood). I don't have any one class that I think will be challenging...but we'll see.
I've got a Romanian exchange student, and she's about as adorable as it gets. She calls me "teacher" in this very respectful tone. I feel like she should be bowing whenever she says it. My kids are learning a lot from her.
I'm going back to school to get my Masters in Reading. I'm really excited/nervous to be a student again. I don't know if I remember how to do it. I find my coursework absolutely fascinating, but very difficult. I'm nervous for the first paper I have to write, as it's been a looooooong time. We'll see how it goes. I'm really excited to share what I learn from it though. So far we've been checking out picture books and looking at how young students discuss them. The program is really popular among elementary school teachers. I think I'm the only high school teacher in the program, but I'm excited regardless. I'm finding things that I can use with my own kids...even if they are a bit older.
We already had a meet the parents type night, and I had very few show up. It was really disappointing. I'm not sure how much parent support I'll be getting this year.
My dept. is a lot different from what it has been in the past. We have so many open-minded teachers this year. I'm actually being allowed to try literature circles in my freshman class. I'll definitely be keeping you all updated on that. I'll need to remind myself how its going and how to improve it for next year.
Oh, freshmen. Need I say more??

I don't think I have anything else. I will be checking up with my "Must-reads." If anyone still reads this, let me know. I've missed the Edublog world!!

busy month

2008-03-02T05:26:00.000-08:00

February was a busy month for me...term paper season, too much cold weather, illness, getting my tonsils out.

Hopefully I won't be ill as often once they're gone.

I don't have a whole lot to say...just wanted to post something.

Is that like Karl Marx?

2008-01-28T04:12:00.000-08:00

I decided to use an old Groucho Marx bit to demonstrate subtext to my sophomores doing Julius Caesar. I don't remember where I got the idea, but I used a bit from Animal Crackers where Groucho has two women fighting over him. From the scene, you can't tell whether or not he likes either of the women; until, he says to the women, "Pardon me while I have a strange interlude." He steps forward and rants about how he can't stand either woman.
After I showed the bit, the kids and I discussed the "strange interlude" and what it meant. We discussed other times where if we took a "strange interlude," we'd reveal something that isn't obvious from what we're saying. I then divided them up into groups and gave them scenarios--a first date that isn't going very well, bringing someone home to meet the parents, parent/teacher conferences--and asked them to act them out, including their own strange interlude. I gave them five minutes or so to get a general idea of what they were doing, and I gave help to those groups who were struggling. Then they performed their small skit for the class.
Let me tell you, they were hysterical!! I had a group of all boys on the "first date." They were my best group...one boy (the boy on the date) pretended to check out the waitress. The "girl" made a comment about her being cute, then had a strange interlude where she called him a pig. We couldn't stop laughing.
I then tied the strange interlude idea into "subtext." I told the kids that they're essentially the same thing in the context of Shakespeare. We discussed some places in the play where subtext played a huge role. Then I had them find five places in Act III, Scene 1 where understanding subtext is essential to understanding the scene. They then had to write the "strange interlude" each character would have.

My second class I did the lesson with was still a bit fuzzy on what subtext was. We had to go through and discuss several examples of it. They couldn't quite wrap their brain around the idea of getting inside a character's head, so we had to do a mini-lesson on characterization and motivation. I'm still not sure if they understood it, but I suppose I'll see when I collect their assignments this morning.

Overall, I really liked doing this lesson, and I think the kids did too. It was something different, which was nice for both of us. I'm tired of doing line-by-line explanations of Shakey.

Now, does anyone have any suggestions on how to wean them off of the "American" Shakespeare? They still try to sneak it out during class and quizzes. It's irritating as all get out.

ugh...worst. blogger. ever.

2008-01-24T15:54:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's been a month...Is it obvious that school is back in session?

I'm attempting to teach Julius Caesar right now, and with one class I feel like I'm asking them to rip their teeth out. They're hating every minute of it and are letting me know it.

The class isn't my best behaved class, and they aren't my most hard working class...and many of them had a teacher last year who gave them the "Americanized" Romeo and Juliet and told them that reading Shakespeare is "stupid"...which they've pointed out to me a couple of times. I would say that they've shut down on me, but I don't know that the ignition was ever on. (Like that analogy?) I'm really trying to be patient with them, but it's becoming difficult. We're in Act III, and they won't even attempt to read it. All I hear is, "I don't get it. This is stupid."

I sat down with the reading specialist after school today to brainstorm some strategies for opening up their minds (without giving them the American Shakey). It's funny how talking to someone else will help to create ideas. We started discussing what I wanted, and the ideas just kept flying out of my head...it was great.

I don't know how much my kids will appreciate it, but I'm excited to try some new things tomorrow.

the weight of term papers on my shoulders...

2007-12-20T04:21:00.000-08:00

Right now I'm blogging instead of grading, and I don't feel guilty...because, for once, all my grading is finished...done...gone...finito. And I feel like the weight of the world is lifted of my little anonymous shoulders because I'm not one of those teachers who can "aim at the next class period to give back exams and two weeks for feedback on papers" (Dr. Kirk). Let me take that back, I can aim all I want, but it's virtually pointless and simply makes me feel guilty when I don't.

Recently on Are We Doing Anything Today? there was a post about being inundated with grading. Now, I said earlier that I'm able to type guilt-free because I don't have any grading; however, that's only because I spent four hours yesterday finishing essays I'd had for nearly a month.

I really do try to get it back in a "timely fashion," but then I get caught up in planning and life...and grading falls to the wayside, despite the fact that I think feedback is one of the most important parts of the writing process, but teachers are people, not grading machines as some people seem to think.

Next semester will begin, I'll be on top of my grading for about a month....then all of a sudden, I'll look back, and my collection trays (what my students call the trays where I keep their homework) will be spilling over with essays...and I'll walk into class every day to a chorus of, "You don't have them graded yet?! Are we ever going to get them back?"

Punish in public?

2007-12-16T08:19:00.000-08:00

In one of my first education classes I took, my teacher shared this idea with us: "Praise in public, punish in private". I've always thought this is the way it should be, and as a teacher, I've really tried to follow that rule. I can't say I'm always successful, as it's difficult to not lose it occasionally; however, the other day, I actually broke this rule intentionally...and the more I think about it, the more I realize it may not have been the best choice.

Last week we had women from China who are studying to be teachers visit out school, and I had a group in one of my classes. During the lesson, one woman raised her hand and held out a sheet of paper. I walked over, and she showed me the paper and asked if it was a student's essay. I skimmed it over and realized it was a note.

I told her that, but she didn't quite understand and asked me if it was in French. This made me laugh because she was pointing at words like "ur" and "bc," then she points to "bitch." I just say that yes, it's a French essay and take it from her. I read a little further and notice that I'm the one who's a bitch because I won't let a student paint her nails in class or talk to her friend during speeches.

The note made me slightly annoyed, and I wanted to let the girls know that first off, the note was unacceptable, and second off, whispering in class is unacceptable. So, during lunch I told the story to the rest of my department and asked for their advice. One of the older teachers told me to call the girls out on it in class...do it in a somewhat joking way, but embarrass them so they won't do it again. I left lunch thinking this was a good idea.

So, the next day during the last two minutes of class, I sit down on one of the desks and tell my kids, "Guys, I have a really funny story for you..." Then I tell them about the Chinese teachers and the note, the entire time looking at the two young girls who wrote it. I end the story by saying, "First off, I don't know that it's bitchy to ask you to show some respect to your peers and not paint your nails or talk during speeches, and second off, if you're going to think that, don't make the dumb move of writing it down and leaving it on the floor for me to find."

By this time, the rest of the class was up in arms or laughing at the two girls. One of the girls was bright red, and the other looked as if she was about to cry. These girls don't fit the social norm, and I think I may've made it worse for them...so, now I've got a case of the guilty conscience, and I'm wondering if I did the right thing.

Introducing...Mrs. Anonymous!!

2007-11-19T14:55:00.000-08:00

Yes, folks, the wedding is over!! I'm officially a Mrs....although none of my students have quite figured it out yet--at least not if you go by the fact that they're still calling me Miss Anonymous. Oh, well.

I'm in a state of disgustingly wedded bliss...I couldn't be happier with my husband. He's wonderful...makes a good Mr. Anonymous. He's got the teacher's husband thing down already--smile whenever a student runs up screaming in public, and quickly say that we have somewhere to be when I get that oh-dear-it's-that-one look.

The kids haven't adjusted yet, but I suppose it's only been a week.

More later.

"eating crow..."

2007-10-23T20:13:00.000-07:00

I love the imagery of that saying...

Anyway, apologized to the boy from yesterday and made a deal with him...I'm calling his parents Monday; however, what I say to them is still to be determined. If he can show me that he's willing to try to work with me, then I'll let them know that he had a bad quarter, but we're working to do better. If he doesn't, then I'll let them know that. It's on him now, and he knows it. He also knows that he can come to me if he needs a break...let's see if he does it.
We also discussed his classroom behavior. I let him know that he can have one outburst each class period, so he'd better use it wisely. Today he had one, I let him know that was it, and we didn't have a problem for the rest of the hour...He's also let me know that he will be getting a glowing note from the sub since the last one wasn't very good for him.
I was also ecstatic (although I didn't show it) to see him taking notes as I discussed the test they'd be taking tomorrow.

Day one goes down in the books as a success.

"waste of my time..."

2007-10-23T04:53:00.000-07:00

I lost my temper yesterday with a student. I told him that he was wasting my time by being in my class when he refuses to do homework or even crack open his book. This occurred after I asked him to read the last four chapters of To Kill a Mockingbird, and his response to me was, "What's the point? I haven't read the first 27?" We've been reading the novel for four weeks now. I've given them time in class, and they haven't had much homework besides reading. But this kid hasn't done anything.
The thing that frustrates me is that he's such a bright kid. He has a crappy home life, and works 40+ hours a week. I get that, as I've told him countless times. But he also has to understand that I can't stop the class and not give homework because of him. I can work with him, if he'll work with me. But he won't. He just wants to act like a jackass and disrupt my class and refuse to do work. So, I finally snapped.
And I know this isn't the way to get this kid to work. He gets yelled at at home. He gets told how crappy he is at home. He doesn't need it from me. So he just shut down. He became a smart ass and ignored what I was attempting to get through his head. I realized it was a mistake as soon as I saw him shut down, but I'd lost him at that point. I'm going to pull him in the hallway and apologize to him today. I'm also going to attempt to reason with him. I don't know how reasonable he'll be feeling, but we'll see.

I'm really well aware of my temper....I just always realize too late to stop it. Gr!

Dissertations...2G's...

2007-10-17T19:27:00.000-07:00

This week is going much better. It's the end of the quarter, and I've been putting off grading essays...so I'm a bit tired. But I'm nearly finished with them, and the squirrels seem to have put effort into them.

A colleague pointed me to this website today. I found the way it was marketed to be brilliant really. To an unsuspecting (read: desperate) high school student, this really doesn't sound like plagiarism:

Our service is tailored to High School, College and University students who need expert assistance with their daily writing tasks. Hence, we assist with all types of academic writing assignments including, but not limited to, basic 5 paragraph essays, argumentative essays, cause-and-effect essays, critical essays, descriptive essays, compare-and-contrast essays, expository essays, narrative papers, process essays, etc. term papers or research papers on all subjects and disciplines in all citation styles (MLA, APA, Turabian, Chicago, Harvard, AMA, etc.),book reports, movie reviews, article critiques, applications and admission essays, speeches, grant proposals, theses and dissertations.

We even did the price quote...you can get a dissertation for around $2000. In a couple years, it would pay for itself...

the monkeys.

2007-10-11T18:10:00.000-07:00

The students have had two four-day weekends in a row. They are bouncing off the walls this week. We (the teachers) have all decided that there is such a thing as too much time off. They've completely gotten out of the routine. I have an odd feeling it's going to take the next several weeks to get them back in the routine.

Also, the assistant principal bulldog has caught me being a bad teacher twice this week. I'll admit that I'm still feeling emotional and slightly apathetic as a result of my experience last week. But I'm trying. Anyway, at one point a.p.b. came in while the class and I were discussing Homecoming. Oops. At another point I left the room to use the restroom. Of course, he came in at that point. I wanted to tell him that it was either go to the restroom or have to go home and change...he didn't ask though. Gah!! Twice in one week...lucky me. I suppose I'll have to be on my best behavior for a bit.

I'm just really having one of those I'm-a-bad-teacher weeks.

I don't know if I'm cut out for this...

2007-10-01T16:52:00.000-07:00

Something happened today that's making me wonder if I'm cut out to be a teacher. It has nothing to do with my knowledge of my subject matter or my ability to manage a classroom. Those things are easy compared with what I had to deal with today. I think I become too emotionally invested to be a teacher. I can't deal with what some of these kids have to deal with.

One of my girls was raped over the weekend, and I'm the only person besides her foster mother and hospital staff that she told. I don't know how to comfort her. I know I can't comfort her. I don't know how to speak to her because I don't want her to think that my crying for her is because I think less of her, but instead because I can't believe how strong she is for having the courage to not only report what happened, but to also name her attacker and press charges. And that I'm crying for her loss because she'll never have that childhood back. And there will be a part of her that will never get over this. But I can't say this to her. She called, and I was helpless.

And I can't deal with that helplessness. I know if this is something I'm going to do for the rest of my life, I'm going to be helpless.

a touching email.

2007-08-31T10:05:00.000-07:00

I just received this email, and I wanted to share it. The context really is in the original email I sent:

Mr. Kotlowitz,

I am a second-year teacher at an affluent public high school **in the Midwest**. My class and I just finished reading your novel There Are No Children Here, and I am writing to let you know how much it meant to us.

While the majority of the school is very wealthy, I teach lower-tracked students, and my students are often living in poverty. So, many of them understood very well what the Riverses were going through, and I understood what you must have been going through watching them live that way.

I've struggled this year with this class. They are not readers, many because of home-life (or lack of), some because of disabilities and some simply because they don't want to be. I have had to work with them and find creative ways to get them to read everything this year...except your novel. And I want to thank you for that. While it may not have turned them into avid readers, it has, at least, taught them that reading can be enjoyable. And they have enjoyed reading this novel. For whatever reason it spoke to them. This helped to get me excited because I had students coming in to discuss the characters and their situations on their own time. Many of them were chapters ahead of what was assigned, and they were eager to discuss it with one another. I have never seen them that excited before, about anything. So, thank you for letting me see that in my students.

I'd also like to thank you for helping me to see what my students' lives are like. I am a second-year teacher, as I said, and I'm somewhat naive, I suppose. But in discussions with this novel, I learned so much about my students and the struggles they go through on a daily basis. Because I grew up in a middle class home, I take that for granted and forget that not everyone does. My students picked up on the title immediately, many because the idea is applicable to their own lives. While they don't deal with the violence outside their homes as the Riverses do, they understand the poverty, and some experience the violence inside their homes. So, they really did understand this novel.

I'm sure you get letters like this often, and in fact, I've seen some on websites, but I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated you telling the children's stories. My children are so proud that they've read this novel from cover-to-cover, something many of them have never done before.

As a final assignment, they are writing letters to you to share their experiences with your novel; however, I wanted to send mine and share my appreciation.

Sincerely,
**Anonymous Teacher**
**Anonymous High School**

The reply:

Dear **Anonymous**, A much belated thank you for your note -- and for your kind words. It's always good to hear from teachers whose students got engaged with Pharoah and Lafeyette, especially students whose only lives mirror their lives. I hope you can pass along my regards to your students from last year. best, alex kotlowitz

I was simply in awe that this author took the time to write a reply to my email. I never expected it. I can't wait to visit my kids on Tuesday and let them know that Alex Kotlowitz sends his regards. They'll be thrilled.

Also, sorry for the hiatus...beginning of the year business. I know you all understand. I'm taking a long weekend on top of my long weekend and visiting a friend in Oklahoma. I'm actually missing being in the classroom today, but I have a friend subbing, so I know that my classroom is safe from the monkeys.

I really hope the first few weeks have gone well for all of you!!

Back to school...

2007-08-16T14:55:00.000-07:00

Today was our teachers' in-service day before school starts tomorrow. I've been dreading it, as usually my colleagues make me frazzled beyond belief (as those of you who've read my blog for the past several years know). But today wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. In fact, it went quite well. I had no desire to gorge on the chocolate in my bottom desk drawer. I don't know that I've ever left a department meeting feeling that relaxed.
The reason? Several new teachers. We have three first-year teachers beginning in our department, plus one student teacher. I don't know if people were just on their good behavior today or if the people who left to make room for the new teachers were that bad, but our entire dynamic has changed. I can't express how smoothly our meeting went.

I also met our new superintendent today. Again, a wonderful change. Our last superintendent insisted on being called "Doctor," while our new superintendent insists on being called by his first name. That is only one of many changes, but I think it speaks volumes about his character. As I think I've already said, I've heard great things about this man, and he lives up to the hype thus far. He seems as if he will be fair in making decisions, and he seems as if he supports the teaching staff, which is a huge change from what we had before. Plus, he's working to allow us to wear jeans on paydays...can't complain about that, right?

I'm really optimistic about this year. I'm feeling very prepared for all my classes. I feel good about both my department and my administration. And there are some younger people in my department, so I finally have teachers my own age to interact with. Plus, in a few short months, I will be a Mrs. Anonymous.

When the stress of the first few weeks hits me, someone please remind me to look back at this post. I really hope I don't end up eating my words...(gah!! Can't get rid of those pessimistic thoughts. Conditioned response, I suppose.)

Stress Eating...

2007-08-14T16:35:00.000-07:00

I've really enjoyed being at school the past few days. I've gotten a ton of work done, and my classroom actually looks as if it can fit students in it. I've blissfully danced around my room with the radio turned up...until today. For whatever reasons several of the other teachers were in today, and it reminded me why I eat so much during the school year.

I had a really quiet morning, but this afternoon when I got back from lunch, I was bombarded by questions and criticism. If today was any indication of what my year is going to be, it's going to be a long one. I'm hoping people are just crabby because school is starting, but i'm not feeling too optimistic.

On another note, totally related to this one, I have to rewrite my sophomore curriculum that I've worked all day for the past week or so on. I've even made all the copies I'll need for the first three weeks of school. Now I have 75 copies of three weeks of handouts and worksheets that I don't need anymore.

On a better note, I'm excited for the first day of school with kids in the building. I get so excited to meet my kids for the year and scare them with the syllabus and expectations. It's so fun to watch their reaction when I first give it out because I know what satisfaction will come at the end of the year when we accomplish all that they thought they couldn't and more.

Anyway, as schools are beginning to start, good luck to everyone!! Here's to a learning-filled and fun year!!

The mating habits of freshmen...

2007-08-08T18:29:00.000-07:00

For some reason my school dedicates two hours a day for eight days to freshman orientation. This isn't a required thing, but many of the more involved students (or students with more involved parents) attend. It's not fun by any stretch of the imagination, so students and teachers alike have to create their own fun...mine was watching the freshmen in all their immature glory.
They're like foreign beings to me. Even after nine months with the little buggers, they're still an alien species. I don't think I can express to you how much they still weird me out.
I did enjoy meeting the kids. It isn't like I had anything better to do (only reading several new books and planning for two new preps). I got paid to plan, which was really nice, and I got to interact with an interesting bunch of kids.

Two things I learned...

Freshmen are immature. We were reading a portion of a geography textbook aloud, and the word "dike" came up. The boy who was reading couldn't even say the word he was laughing so hard. I tried to explain to him and the rest of the class what it was, but I'm not sure that anyone could hear me over the heyena laughter. Another example: I was breaking the students into pairs and had an extra person, so I told one group they'd be a "threesome". Big mistake. Again with the heyena laugh.
Freshmen smell. For whatever reason they haven't figured out that deoderant is important. My room got so stinky after two hours of heat and sweating that I gave a lecture on the importance of personal hygeine. I let the boys know that after football practice they must shower. Apparently no one had told them that.

At one point I saw a little boy who had just come back from football practice (and, mind you, it's over 100 degrees out, and they practice for several hours) running around in his sweaty, dirty clothes. I think to myself, Hmm, that's disgusting. But I almost lost my lunch when he walked up to a young girl and rubbed himself on her. I shouted at him, asking what in the world he was doing.
His response? "It's my girlfriend. It's okay."
Why, exactly, would he think it's okay to rub sweat all over his girlfriend?

Nevermind...don't want to know.

I lied...

2007-08-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

Okay, so three times a week didn't happen...obviously.

I've been roped into a freshmen orientation week, and I'm really not liking it at all. It's very disorganized, and we've got so much down time that the kids are getting bored and acting out. Plus, it's cutting into my time and desire to plan for the upcoming year.

I've created syllabi for all my classes. I'm working on fleshing out each of the units now. The fiance and I are heading to Panera tonight to work on school stuff/web design stuff (guess who's doing what). One of the other sophomore teachers has been really generous with her materials, so I'm feeling better about my two sophomore classes. For a couple units, she went so far as to give me entire units, complete with lesson plans, handouts, tests and worksheets.

I really don't have anything intelligent right now. The freshmen are already wearing me out...

Where does curriculum come from?

2007-07-09T13:47:00.000-07:00

I'd like to begin by saying that in this post, I'm mostly reflecting on the nature of the English curriculum; however, I suppose the thought is applicable to all subjects.

I was just working on my plans for next year, going over my lesson plans for Oedipus. I'm not a huge fan of the play. In fact, I think it's over the head of most seniors, let alone freshmen. I taught it to both my levels of freshmen. They both read it. They both understood the storyline, but did they really understand the nuances? Not a chance. Try explaining the "paradox of blindness" to a bunch of 14 year-olds. They simply wanted to get to the part where Oedipus gouges his eyes out...and even that was overshadowed by the fact that he had slept with his mother. From what I saw, they didn't get a lot out of the play.
Possibly it could've been my teaching...I had no clue what to do with it, as I'm not big on it and that could've (most likely did) show through in my teaching and planning. Ultimately, we focused on the ideas of tragic hero, tragic flaw and catharsis. Then we tied those into Romeo and Juliet; however, I could've done that much more simply (and more quickly) with an overview.
I asked other teachers in my department why we teach Oedipus in its entirety, and ultimately it came back to the fact that it was in a former textbook. Now, that being said, it's no longer in the new textbook we have...and the department has had a heck of a time trying to find it (at least the translation they want). But it's still being taught.

The question that keeps bugging me is how much should a textbook dictate a curriculum?

The Oedipus thing is obviously somewhat extreme, as we don't even have the textbook anymore; however, I'm just trying to illustrate my point. I can just as easily give my students an example of tragic hero and tragic flaw using a more modern-day story...one they will be more likely to get something out of.
I don't want to dump all the classics by any means. I see the value of Shakespeare; besides the fact that he is the most referred-to author in literature, it has also been proven time and again that Shakespeare makes students' brains work and also improves their writing and vocabulary. (If you still are Shakespeare-shy, head over to Englicious to read more detailed reasons for reading Shakey.)
I simply want reasons for what I teach, and "that's how it's always been done because of a former book we used" is not a good reason. Give me objectives. The thing many people don't realize is that objectives can be met in a variety of ways using a variety of texts. If I suggested using something by Tennessee Williams to hammer home tragedy, while only touching on Oedipus, I think I'd be immediately kicked out of the department. But I also think the students would get more out of a Williams play.
Then again, there are some teachers in my department who would use the freedom to water down the curriculum...Make it easy on themselves, while also making it easy on their students. I suppose it somewhat boils down to professionalism...both on the part of the that's-the-way-it's-always-been-done'ers and also the I-don't-understand-it-so-I'll-dumb-it-down'ers.

I really haven't reached any conclusions. I don't know that there are any to reach.

Anyone have thoughts? Please share. I'm sort of at a loss on this one, I think.

Miss me??

2007-07-05T17:55:00.000-07:00

I took a "brief" hiatus from blogging. I got overwhelmed by end-of-the-year work (i.e. even more term papers), and lately I've been working on wedding preparations, as fiance and I have decided to move the wedding up to November.

Anyway, I'm making a promise right now to you (and especially myself) to blog at least three times a week because I know I'll need that habit once school starts. I need the catharsis this blog brings me. Plus, I love getting feedback from all of you.

Besides wedding preparations and such, I've been really researching using podcasts and wikis in the classroom. I'm really interested in including more technology in my students' education next year, but I'm really finding it difficult to find good examples of podcasts. Many are password protected to insure student privacy and safety, which is understandable, but it makes it difficult to find examples. I've so far only been to the library and Googled it. After I finish writing this, I will be exploring the blogosphere.

I'm teaching my lower-tracked freshmen again next year. I'm really happy about that because I've developed a really strong curriculum for that class. I've been tweaking it lately, as I will be teaching a different novel from last year. I'll be doing Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island, which is really exciting for me because I can tie it into the short story (by showing the students how authors flesh out stories but use a similar format to create a novel) and the epic. By the end the students will be showing me how TI and the Odyssey are related (that's one of the goals anyway).
I also have two new preps, which should be interesting. I've got two different tracks of sophomores. I really love the novels taught the sophomore year, and the curriculum focuses more on speech rather than writing, which will be a load off grading-wise. Plus, I love a new challenge. For the next month or so, these are the classes I will really be focusing on preparing for. I feel very confident with my freshmen class planning, so I would like to be as confident with my sophomore classes.

This was sort of a dodgy return to blogging. I'm out of practice. It will get better, promise.

Chocolate is dangerous...

2007-04-11T14:50:00.000-07:00

As I was sitting at my desk during my prep, I opened my desk drawer to get staples and found a box of Fannie Mae chocolates that I'd forgotten about over break. You can guess how surprised I was. (And by "surprised," I mean I was tearing into that box of chocolates like there was no tomorrow.)

They were Trinidads, my favorite. I ate one, which took me a bit of time because I have a very specific way of eating Trinidads: I eat off the white chocolate coating, then I eat the dark chocolate inside. Anyway, I finished my first one and picked up my red pen to continue grading (yes, political incorectness aside...I still use red). And the chocolates sat there and mocked me. They were calling my name and laughing at me.

So, I ate another one...and another.

That's why I should stick to Triscuits and granola bars in my desk.

Preparing my speech...

2007-04-09T11:58:00.000-07:00

I'm up for a Blogger's Choice Award--"the blogitzer." I won't complain about it. In fact, I'm going to go with some shameless self-promotion...

Click and vote!! Please!!

On another note, Spring Break ends tomorrow. I have done nothing teacher-related for over a week, and my kids are going to kill me when I go back. I want to make up some horrible excuse as to why I couldn't do any grading over the break, but I think they'd see through that. Alas, I'll either have to grade 50 term papers in the next several hours, or enjoy the last afternoon of my break and deal with the consequences tomorrow. Whatever will I do??

I have read several good books over break. I'll give my thoughts on them when I get back from the dog park. (You knew I wouldn't grade. I'm worse than a freshman.)

2 days...(this morning anyway)

2007-03-29T18:43:00.000-07:00

And two minutes that I've been home all day...It's been a long one.

The kids are getting sillier and sillier the closer we get to Spring Break. My freshmen couldn't even sit in their desks for more than ten seconds. They were squirming and giggling like crazy. I hate trying to fight with them when they're like that, so today I tried to run with it. I gave them a hands-on review game. That gave them an outlet for their energy, but it also made them do it in a productive way.

My goal is simply to get through tomorrow....

Tomorrow morning will mean one day...I can do one more day of patience...

Four and Three

2007-03-28T03:49:00.000-07:00

Remember that whole "I will stick to this" thing? Oops.

Anyways...

Four Days:

I have four different preps this year. I've been fortunate with my two freshman classes to have another teacher guiding me through it, but my other classes I've been somewhat on my own. I'm doing decently well with them, but I can't wait until next year. I'll have three preps next year, two of which I also taught this year and one I taught my first year. I'm not teaching over the summer (I'm beginning my M.A.), so I'll have time to plan and have things really worked out for next year.
I know this happens quite frequently, but at my school, many of the veteran teachers feel the need to "break in" the newer teachers (and that means new to the district). They'll pile on the classes and not give them any guidance because "that's how it was my first year." This simply doesn't make sense to me. Because of this practice, we have a first-year teacher who has decided not to return to teaching next year. She's just too exhausted with all the work. (Disclaimer: I realize there's always work in teaching, but this young woman was given five different preps and no guidance at all.)

This practice is changing. Our new department head has been fair. He has taken everyone's strengths and weaknesses into account when creating the master schedule, and except for a few minor issues, it's been very well-received.

Three days:
Yes, today at noon, I will be half-way to ten days off. Not that I'm counting down.

I have three classes still working on term papers, including my two lowest level classes. My two freshman classes have turned them in already and are waiting for me to grade them. I keep reminding them that they had six weeks to write them...

Anyway, my two lower-level classes have never written a term paper before, and they've been very frustrated with the whole process. But I've been dragging them through it.
The English department at my school believes in teaching the notecard method of writing a research paper, and I know that for some this isn't practical and doesn't work very well. But I also know that if they ever move into a higher-tracked class, they'll need to know this.
I've been trying to explain to them that it works very well in helping to organize ideas, and most of these students know that's where there struggles in writing really are. Now that they're beginning to write their rough drafts, they're really beginning to see what I mean. One of them even said to me, "With the notecards and the outline, it's already written. I just have to put it in sentences." Yes, that's the point.

With the drafting of the essay, they're finding a new frustration...and I am, as well. Length. They've never written a four-page paper, and they're finding it really difficult. While I don't think that length equals quality, I do think it's important that they know how to write an extended essay, so I've been sticking to my guns on the length issue...and I've had a lot of frustrated students.
Some have taken my advice and found more information, and others have used their b.s.'ing skills (which they have a lot of practice in) to add pages to their essay...and still others have sat in their chairs and whined. I've got two more days of rough draft writing. The drafts are due Friday, so we'll see how it goes...wish me luck!!

Oh, Spring...

2007-03-26T04:10:00.000-07:00

While Spring does mean Spring Break, for English teachers at my school, it also means term paper time ::insert evil music here::. Yes, I have been busy prepping, grading and handing back term papers lately, and I'm only halfway finished.

...on a happier note, I'm five days away from Spring Break...and in honor of this, I've decided to do a sort of Spring Break advent blog...so, that means five days of blogging. I will stick to this.

Five Days:

There are five scenes in Act III of Romeo & Juliet, which my freshmen had to not only "translate" R&J into their English, but they also had to act out each of the five scenes.

I've heard nothing but complaints about the language in R&J since we started reading it. They act as if it's foreign (which I suppose it sort of is, as they didn't take an entire class devoted to Shakespeare and reading his language while in college). They've been working very hard to get through the previous acts, so I decided to give them a break: Each student only had to understand one scene, and they had group members to help them.

At first they laughed at my idea and told me it was "stupid," and I had several students tell me they were not going to act it out. But within five minutes of putting them in groups, I heard things like, "And he's mad here, so you have to look angry," and, "Miss Anonymous, can we bring in props, to--you know--make it more real?"

If anyone has ever had to listen to freshmen--or students in general--read Shakespeare, you'll know it sometimes makes you want to bang your head on a wall until you pass out. And the students feel the same way. But this was entertaining for both them and for me.

Here's to five days until Spring Break!!

A High School Dance...

2007-03-03T22:03:00.000-08:00

Mr. Fiancee helped to chaperone a high school dance tonight. He was able to meet several of my little monsters. They were more than excited to meet them.

At one point during the night, he says to me, "This makes me grateful for my office job."

I think he finally got a glimpse of what I do...Good.

It's 3 a.m., and I want to go to bed...**

2007-03-03T01:17:00.000-08:00

I'm tired. It's 3:23 in the morning. I visited Dennis's blog and got in on the non-teacher criticism of teachers debate. I'm not sure if my response to his post was coherent, but I'm okay with it if it isn't. Even English teachers can have bad days.

I'm not sure what I'm doing awake at 3 a.m. I know the dog kicked me, but usually I send him back to his bed and fall back asleep. But I can't tonight. My mind is racing, and I think it's going to make me nuts.

I figured rough quarter grades this afternoon. Most of my students are doing leaps and bounds better than they were at the beginning of the year. I even have several of my lower-tracked students I'd feel comfortable bumping up to the average track next year. They've worked so hard and made so much progress. But I have a couple students I'm really worried about.

One hasn't passed an English class since 5th grade. At the middle school, students can fail a class and still be passed on to the next grade. This particular student dislikes English, and thus chose to fail it. So, the result is a young man with above-average intelligence, but no basic English skills. Because of his ability-level, he's in an average class; however, he doesn't have the same skill-sets or the same drive as my other students. He squeaked by last semester with a D-, but I'm afraid that won't happen this semester. If he'd do the work of the class, I could work with him. But he doesn't. He finds creative ways to hide the fact that he's sleeping in class instead of paying attention. I call on him constantly and make him sit as close to me as he can; however, he still finds a way to ignore everything going on in the room. I want to see him pass, but I don't know how to help him.

I have several who miss several days per week. They have doctor's notes but miss so much school they can't keep up. I give extended schedules so they have deadlines of major assignments; however, the students miss class and don't get necessary information...then don't understand the homework assignments. Again, I'm at a loss.

Then there's that class. I think most teachers have that one class that simply annoys the snot out of them...I have mine. Because of tracking, these students come out of lower-level math and science classes, and many times at my school, lower-level means behavior problems. So, they all filter out into my English class. Individually I love them all, but as a class, they make me nuts. I have one student who's the ring-leader of them all. I've found that if I can keep him busy, I'm fine, but he's very apathetic when it comes to schoolwork...so, it's difficult to keep him busy.

The one who really is keeping me awake, however, isn't failing. Actually, he is one of my lower-tracked monsters who's finally realized the importance of education...a little late, but better late than never. He wants to go to a Christian college and become a minister; however, because he's in the lower-tracked English class, he's going to have a difficult time getting into college and also succeeding in a college English class. So, I've told him I'll work with him before school twice a week. We'll really work on his writing skills...teach him those skills that he needs to do well. He's also going to have extra outside reading...more difficult than what he's getting right now. He's agreed to this, and I'm drafting up a contract for him to sign saying that if I'm putting in the extra hours, then he'll put in the extra work.
If I didn't think he'd put in the extra effort, I wouldn't have agreed to help him. What I'm more nervous about is that I'll fail him. He is banking on this. He wants to succeed, and I want to see him succeed. But what if he doesn't? I know that's not the attitude to have going into this, but I just don't want to send him up to a higher-tracked class next year and have him fail miserably. That would be such a blow to his self-esteem...not to mention all the work he's putting in.
So, that's the real reason I'm up at 3 a.m. I'm researching ways to teach basic writing skills. In the classroom, I use the "Revise, revise, revise" strategy...and that works, but I'm trying to see if there's something more. I suppose I'm looking for that magic solution...you know the one that won't fail?

So, back to Googling "magic solution+writing."

**title taken from Of a Revolution (O.A.R.) "Night Shift"** Song title as blog title idea from Leesepea. I didn't mean to steal her idea; however, that song is stuck in my head...although it's nearly 4 a.m. now.

Ignorance...

2007-02-28T18:53:00.000-08:00

I was going to discuss the asinine conversation I had while picking up dinner this evening...but I already rambled about it on Dennis's blog...so, I'm going to discuss another asinine conversation. (If you haven't noticed, "asinine" is the word of the week...my freshmen love it. So, we've been using it as much as we possibly can.)

In previous posts I've shared with you all that I teach the lower-tracked classes. They're a challenge, but I really enjoy my students. It took a while, but I earned their trust and loyalty. And that trust and loyalty is reciprocated. They might have to try a bit harder...and I might have to do some crazy things to reach them, but once I do, they get it.

At the school where I teach, there are myths floating around about those students. I teach in a very affluent district, and many people try to ignore those kids who don't have as much money or aren't college-bound or have some behavior problems. If they can't ignore those kids, then they make ridiculous comments.

For example, during lunch we were discussing curriculum mapping, and we decided to teach Of Mice and Men in the average freshmen class. I chimed in and said that the lower-tracked class would do the same things, just at a slower pace and possibly with an adapted reader. One of the other teachers asked, "Do you think they can handle Romeo and Juliet and The Odyssey. I told her that they could with a bit more guidance....then she says, "Well, what about Of Mice and Men? Do you think they'd get that? Do you think they'll be bright enough to see a bit of themselves in Lenny?"

My blood boiled. I had to leave the lunch room I was so angry...seething is a good word for it. I just don't understand how a person could be so ignorant. They're students. They have a brain. It may function a bit differently from ours, but it's there. After I got back to my room, I thought of a response to her comment...something smart-allecky about shooting them, as well. But it's probably best I didn't think of it while I was angry.

**I'm not proofreading this because I want to get to sleep...so, I apologize for any and all grammatical errors. What kind of English teacher am I?!?!**

My busy bees...

2007-02-25T07:02:00.000-08:00

It's been a good teacher week. Most of my classes are in different stages of working on their research papers, and it's really neat to watch. The students are running around finding books and sharing information with one another. Occasionally one comes up to me, "Miss Anonymous, did you know ::fill in the blank with the information the student just found::?" The hands-on work really seems to be getting the students involved. I love to see that kind of business in the kids.

Two classes just finished the rough draft...my freshmen. I'm a bit nervous to read them; because, while I know they worked very hard to find the information and create the product, their writing skills are still not where I'd like them to be. Maybe I'm setting my bar too high for them, but I had hoped they'd be a bit further along with writing at this point. But we're working. I've got some ideas to implement next week to help them to revise the drafts. We'll see how those go.

My lower-tracked students are the kids who seem to be benefiting from the research paper the most. As of right now, we're not too far into the process, but even in introducing it, I noticed the kids seemed to respond very well to the entire process. Several of them about had a heart attack when they saw that the entire project was worth nearly 1000 points, but when we went through the schedule and broke down the points, they really got excited to see all the different parts making up the whole. It's really giving me some good ideas for introducing writing next year. I'm going to break it down into parts more to see if that works. If I have time, I may even try it after we read our next novel.

The icing on my teacher cake came at an I.E.P. meeting I had this week. At the beginning of the year, this student simply could not pay attention. He was constantly elsewhere when it came to the classroom. His grades reflected that. So, I met with his parents right before finals, and we came up with several ways to get him back on track. From what I heard at the I.E.P. meeting, it really seems to be working. This is the first chance I've had to really talk to this student's parents since the first meeting we had, and they said with English (my class), he's like a different kid. He wants to show his parents his work...and actually do his work. He's doing very well in the class, and they told me that's the first time he's ever earned a consistent A in an English class.
From what I see, the student is doing all the work. I very rarely have to redirect him anymore, and he works his tail off to do well. I'm very proud of his progress and let both him and his parents know.

Mrs. Anonymous

2007-02-21T04:01:00.000-08:00

The bf proposed. I will officially be Mrs. Anonymous next year. My face hurts from smiling!!

If only I could just teach...

2007-02-17T05:19:00.000-08:00

I've been getting very frustrated with other teachers this week. First, there are the teachers who give multiple choice quizzes and overhead notes daily and take only a small purse or even nothing at all home while I have three bags worth of grading. Then there is the teacher who tells me that students can't do this and they can't do that. Interesting, as mine are doing whatever it is...then they complain that her class doesn't have to. There's also the teacher who throws tennis balls during her inclusion classes and shouts over the din of noise coming from her classroom, disturbing all of us around her...but administration insists she "reaches students." In reality, she just runs to tell the principal whenever she's done something for a student. She talked for weeks about the dollar she gave to a student for lunch. Really, how many of us have done that and so much more for a student who's needed it?? We simply don't broadcast it throughout the school.

Anyways, what do these teachers have in common?? They give the rest of us a bad name, and it torks me!! I bust my butt only to hear from non-teachers how the education system is such a mess because teachers aren't professionals and don't know how to do their jobs...and blahblahblah. People lose respect for our profession because, quite frankly, there are teachers who aren't professionals and therefore don't deserve that professional respect. But what can we do about that?

Anthony Cody, a columnist in Teacher Magazine, proposed a hippocratic oath for teachers:

How many times have teachers contemplated the respect accorded doctors of medicine and ruefully shaken our collective heads, wishing we were given a fraction of that? One difference is that physicians traditionally swear on some form of the Hippocratic Oath, originally written in the 4th century B.C.

Teachers adhere to codes of ethics and performance administered by the states that license us, but as a profession, we lack an agreed-upon credo.

He suggests that by swearing to follow this oath, we will gain respect as a profession. I love what he has suggested. In fact, I printed out a copy of the oath and have it laminated and hung up next to my desk. Personally I want to be reminded of the things he includes on his list, and I want to try to follow them in my teaching career. Before I go on, I'll share several of my favorites:

• I will remember that there is art to teaching as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the textbook reading or the multiple choice test.

• If it is given me to enhance a life through teaching, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to cast a shadow over a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty.

• If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of teaching those who seek my help.

In reality I should've just copied the entire list, as I really do feel strongly about each and every one. I feel that each one is valid and each helps to create a professional and conducive classroom envrionment; however, I don't know that this is the answer to creating better teachers. I don't think that having teachers swear to follow these standards will create better teachers or gain us respect as professionals. Those teachers who will follow the standards are already doing so without having to formally give an oath. And that respect we seek won't be given by uttering a few words at a graduation ceremony.

I think these problems, unprofessional teachers and no professional respect, are so intertwined that we have to resolve these issues together. Teachers want professional respect, but many don't behave as professionals...so, how do we get professional teachers? I'm really just asking this question because I'm so frustrated with my collegues at the moment. It's come to the point where I simply shut my door and do my job, as it makes me so angry to think about what they are/aren't doing.

But I hate that they're giving a bad name for the rest of us!! I know Dennis will probably have several answers to my questions of how to get professional teachers...and I hope he does. I have my own ideas, and I began to write them out here...but they're really just a repeat of several posts from Dennis. I know there were others; however, this is one I could find. I do agree with a lot of what he says, and possibly after I grade one of my three bags of essays, I'll share my thoughts.

But I really want to hear what everyone else thinks...how do we get professional teachers and the professional respect we deserve?

I've finally found an unsecured wireless network that I can "borrow" from my apartment, so I'm hoping to be able to post more often. It's just been difficult to find the time and place to blog without internet at home.

Oh, the Freshmen...

2007-02-02T04:13:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of the year, I hated my freshmen. They were rude. They acted like monkeys. They couldn't sit in their seats for more than five seconds at a time. They didn't do their homework, then whined when they weren't passing. They smelled like gym socks and candy and made my room smell for hours afterwards. They called me "Mrs. Anonymous" no matter how many times I reminded them I wasn't married. They stared at me with blank expressions on their faces and attempted to answer "I dunno" to every question I asked them. They picked on each other and caused silly fights in the middle of class. Basically, they made my teaching life miserable.

If someone would've told me at the beginning of the year that I would really be leaning towards teaching freshmen again next year, I would've laughed in their face...loudly. But I am. Like fungi, my freshmen have grown on me. I actually enjoy them most of the time. They still act like idiots occasionally, but we've learned to appreciate one another.

I've learned to relax some with them. Their still young. I can't expect the same maturity out of them as my juniors. I give them a break if their giggly (we've learned to put our heads down on our desk if we can't control our laughter). I've figured out how to pull them out of their little shells. I didn't realize how scary high school can be, but it was overwhelming for them...a huge change, and I didn't take that into account when teaching. Most of them were simply over their heads. Now we have discussions, joke around, and actually enjoy one another's company.

They quickly learned I wouldn't tolerate any sort of disrespect. That was off-putting for them at first. They thought I was (and I'm quoting here) a "bitch" because I wrote them up for what they considered to be minor things. They've matured since the beginning of the year. We can actually have fun now, and I can be a little more laid back as a result of their improved behavior.

Anyways, this post has been sitting in "draft" status for several days now, so I'm just going to post it.

Oh, dear...

2007-01-28T09:05:00.000-08:00

Where has the time gone?? I haven't posted in over a month, and I've been missing my little blogging corner.

In my defense, I avoided anything teacher-related over winter break. I needed me time, and I got it. By the end of the break, I was bored to tears...sixteen days with nothing to do will do that to an antsy person like me, I suppose. After doing nothing for over two weeks, I've been busy, busy, busy since school started back up.

I'm taking a break from grading freshman essays. These kids don't proofread!! And many of them don't know the difference between an argumentative essay and a summary...despite the fact that I explained it in about twelve different ways and showed them the difference. But what can a little English teacher do?? Make them re-write it!!

As I was reading through a batch of them yesterday, I noticed a line in one that simply didn't sound like a student wrote it...especially a freshman student. It was so insightful that I'm not even sure if I could accomplish such a beautiful line. So, I started scanning the rest of his essay. On doing this, I noted that he'd cited quotations by line...the version of the play we read didn't have line numbers...interesting. Needless to say, I Googled his essay, and oddly enough, I found it...nearly word-for-word on an essay site. Strange. Busted!!
Tomorrow morning I'm going to ask him to explain the line to me...see if he can do it.

I've got so much more to say, but I have to read all the blogging I've missed in my absence from blog world...and I suppose I should get back to my essays. The red pen is calling. (I don't care how detrimental it is to their little egos...I like red!!)

p.s. If you can't tell, I've had entirely too much coffee. If I was speaking to you, I'd be talking 100 miles a minute...

Creative Juices Flowing

2006-12-16T13:04:00.000-08:00

I gave my freshmen a writing assignment to test how well they'd picked up on the elements that made up an epic. I knew they could recite the characteristics of an epic to me, but I wanted them to show me that they'd learned what makes an epic by writing one of their own. While I'd hoped they'd do well on this assignment, they've demonstrated their lack of writing abilities before, so I was nervous.

But what I got back was excellent.

The kids not only followed the guidelines of the assignment, demonstrating they understand the concept of what makes an epic, but they were also so creative. I'm in Panera right now grading, and I'm enjoying reading their assignments. They are riddled with grammatical errors, but they're so creative and entertaining, I've adjusted my rubric to make grammar less important.

Yay, freshmen!! Way to make my grading time fun!

Thursday Thirteen #3

2006-12-14T18:17:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things I Hope to Do Before I Turn 30:

1. Summit Longs Peak.

2. Get my M.A.

3. Complete a triathalon.

4. Finish my foreign language certification.

5. Backpack across Europe.

6. Crochet a whole hat.

7. Watch the whole entire 24 hours of a 24 hour Christmas Story marathon. (I've almost made this one.)

8. Learn to manage my money better.

9. Move to Colorado.

10. Learn to bake my gram's chocolate chip cookies.

11. Buy a new car (hope to do this in the next several months).

12. Read Crime and Punishment and Anna Karenina.

13. Build a dark room to develop my own photos.

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a very hateful, very cowardly comment.

2006-12-10T20:31:00.000-08:00

The other day I received a comment that actually made me cry. I opened my email, read it, re-read it to make sure I'd read it correctly the first time, then I cried. Boyfriend head couldn't figure out what made me so upset. All I could do was point at the screen and cry when he asked me.

This is what had upset me so much: *Link to original post*

Concerned - said...

I'M AMAZED -- BUT MORE ASHAMED OF YOU TEACHERS. YOU SHOULD ALL QUIT TEACHING -- BECAUSE IT'S YOUR LOUSY BITCHING ATTITUDES THAT COME SHINING THROUGH TO OUR CHILDREN. THE PROBLEM IS NOT THE PARENTS... IT'S THE TEACHERS -- MOST OF THEM DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE OR KINDNESS NEEDED FOR CHILDREN... AND SHOULD PICK ANOTHER INDUSTRY. **EVERY TIME** A TEACHER BITCHES ABOUT STUDENTS AND PARENTS... SHOWS JUST WHAT KIND OF PERSON THEY REALLY ARE... GROW UP -- YOUR WORSE THAN THE CHILDREN AND THE PARENTS YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT.

I couldn't believe anyone could write something that hateful. Once I got over the initial shock, I was angry. I wanted to know who could be mean-spirited enough to say something like that. I went straight to my sitemeter. Obviously it couldn't tell me who this person was, but I do know that s/he found my blog by searching "bad teacher blog" on Google. But because of the anonimity of the internet, this is all I know.

I think if someone feels this strongly about something, the s/he would at least sign a name...leave an email address? Something to allow me to respond to his/her allegations. So, I'm doing it in the only way I can...Right here:

Dear Hateful, Cowardly Commentor,

I think just about everyone at some point or another complains about his/her job. Teachers are human, too. We have our bad days the same as anyone else, and I think we deserve to complain occasionally. Teenagers and their parents aren't the easiest to deal with sometimes. I apologize if this offends you, but my advice then is don't read my blog...or any others that may offend you.
I love my job. Yes, it is at times overwhelming, and the parent/teacher conferences I had were a nightmare...but I wouldn't give up my job for anything. I love working with my kids. My students tell me how much they appreciate my positive attitude and my smiles, so I'm pretty sure my "lousy bitching attitude" isn't shining through to anyone except for possibly the rude parents I was referring to in my blog post...and to be honest, with some of them, I hope it did...because their rude, disrespectful, condescending attitude came shining through to me.
If you think you have enough "patience and kindness" to be an effective teacher, then go ahead. We need more teachers who possess those qualities, and despite what you may think, those are two things we have in abundance in my classroom.
If you were referring to the other teachers who'd commented on that particular post, then shame on you for using my blog as a place to insult my visitors.
If you were attempting to make a point, it was lost on me. What I gathered from what you wrote is that you're a hateful person who has entirely too much time on your hands. If you'd like me to take your opinion seriously, then I suggest you be less insulting and actually attempt to say something...because all I see in that comment is nastiness, and why should anyone take someone so nasty seriously?
The next time you want to post a nasty comment on my blog, do two things for me, please: 1.) Grow some balls and leave some sort of identification (name, email, etc.)--pardon my crudeness. and 2.) When commenting on an English teacher's blog, at least attempt to show some sort of grasp of grammar and mechanics. As I tell my students, it's very difficult to take someone's opinion seriously when it's riddled with grammatical and syntactical errors.

Thanks,
AT

Thursday Thirteen #2

2006-12-07T04:18:00.000-08:00

Thirteen random Anonymous Teacher facts...

I love the color green. It is, in fact, my absolute favorite color.
I love to cook...mainly because I love to eat, but with school and all that jazz, I don't have time to cook as often as I'd like.
I love skirts and heels. I really feel under-dressed if I don't wear a skirt and heels to work.
Riding in a car always makes me fall asleep...doesn't matter what time it is or how much sleep I've had.
Spring is my favorite season, but I really like winter because I get to wear a hat, gloves and scarves. (In other words, I like cold-weather gear.)
When my cat died, I cried like a member of my family had passed.
I can't stand it when people read over my shoulder as I'm typing, reading, writing, etc. (And I include that one because boyfriend head is looking over my shoulder as I write this.)
I enjoy crocheting, but I always start projects and never finish them.
Panera for breakfast is my guilty pleasure (bacon and egg souffle and icy mocha)...Jesus Pete it has a boatload of calories, but I can't help myself.
I can listen to Christmas music year round.
My feet are ridiculously ticklish.
I can't lie to save my life...my face turns all red, and I stutter.
This is so gross and immature, but I'll share anyways...when I really want to annoy boyfriend head, I chew up food and show it to him.

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SNOW DAY!!!!

2006-12-01T12:58:00.000-08:00

When I was a child, I never would've thought that the teachers were watching the news and hoping for a snow day just like the students. The thought simply never crossed my mind. But there I was last night, ice pelting my window, wind blowing and howling, little old me cuddled in a blanket on my couch scanning the news for "Anonymous Teacher School" to scroll across the bottom while I was watching Grey's Anatomy (yes, my new addiction).
It didn't happen last night. In fact, I woke up at 4:45 this morning when my power went off. My apartment was cold and dark, so I figured I'd go workout (even though I'd planned on taking the morning off). I started to get my work out clothes together, then I decided to take a peek out my window...and my poor little car was no longer a car but a mound of snow with green spots.
At this point, it was around 5:00, it was colder...and still dark, and I hadn't heard anything about school...so, I did what any adult woman would do: I called my mommy.
I had obviously woken her up, but she wasn't too annoyed with me. She turned on the tv and waited patiently for a.) the phone number for the power company and b.) to see if my school was closed. Got the power company's number and found out about school closing from morning news, then the mother told me to call Boyfriend Head and see if he had power.
Boyfriend Head is not a morning person by any means. In fact, if he's coherent enough to mumble an answer to a question, I'm impressed...so, I wasn't even expecting him to answer his phone. The first time I got voicemail, but the second time, he called while I was leaving him a message. Apparently Puppybutt was barking at the phone and woke him up.
My hero not only had power, but also agreed to come pick me up at my apartment so I didn't have to dig my car out of its pile of snow. The roads were messy...not horrible. We saw several stupid people, driving like morons, as some people will do when it snows. But we made it home safely.
Played in the snow for a bit with puppybutt. He was hesitant at first, but he loves the stuff...even if it is cold. He really likes eating it when we track it in on our shoes.
I had hoped for the snow day so that I could get some extra work finished....but I can't say I've done a lot of anything. Right now I'm obviously playing in blogworld instead of doing the grading I should be working on. Oh, well. The work will get finished. It always does.

If only my students know that I was wishing for the snow day as much as they were...

p.s. My evaluation went very well!! The vice-principal even told me, "Your at-risk students are very fortunate to have a teacher with your enthusiasm and compassion." I like to think I'm a good teacher, but it's nice to hear someone else notice it once in a while.

Thursday Thirteen!! #1

2006-11-29T18:35:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things I'd Wish If I Had Magic Lamp:

to see "Anonymous Teacher's School" scrolling across the bottom of the television, letting me know that school will be closed tomorrow so that I could have an extra day of grading term papers and finishing worksheet creating.
a giftcard for an unlimited amount of money to spend on i-tunes.
the metabolism of my puppy!!
to be able to visit Hogwarts...just once.
for a magic pen to do my grading...I set the pen on top of the stack of papers (essays even), and the pen grades, making the exact same comments I would.
a really good masseur to live in my spare bedroom (and a spare bedroom for the masseur to live in).
enough money to support my shoe and pencil skirt addiction.
for victoria's secret to just lose my balance and somehow owe me in unlimited victoria's secret spending.
green pens!! lots and lots and lots of green pens!!
for barnes and noble to become 24 hours...and become like a library where you can check out books at your leisure.
become my ideal weight and stay there...while still eating all the panera breakfast I please.
for perfect hair...or at least for mine to stop hating my head.
and I suppose the obligatory world peace...

How was that for my first Thursday Thirteen??

addendum: I just read this...and man, do I sound superficial. Boyfriend Head's response when I asked if I sounded this way: Well, you did ask for world peace...

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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subtraction=addition...

2006-11-29T18:26:00.000-08:00

at least in some cases. I know you all are thinking it isn't mathmatically possible, but I promise you it is in this situation.

I have three students...let's call them A, B, and C. They like to disrupt class...frequently; however, according to their I.E.P.'s there isn't a whole lot I can do about them. So:

A+B+C=trouble(-)

I emailed guidance with this issue and received an email back the other day. Student B is being moved to another section!! So:

A+(B-B)+C=good class(+)

Okay. This is precisely why I'm not a math teacher, but I tried to be witty. The gist of the story is, I'm excited to be breaking up this trio of nonsense, and I'm counting down the 17 days until I can actually teach again!!

Thanksgiving Break

2006-11-28T04:05:00.000-08:00

I've said this before, but I'm going to say it again...students think we have no life.

My freshmen took tests the day break started, fill-in-the-blank and two essays...50 of them. I had four days off for Thanksgiving. I had 25 junior term papers to grade, two weeks of lesson planning to do for four classes, and a lot of random grading; plus, like my students, I wanted some vacation time as well. So, I didn't even bother taking the tests home.

I got back to school yesterday, and a student asked if I'd graded them. I told him no. I hear another student lean over and whisper, "She had four days." I may've made him wish he hadn't said that.

My response: Would you like to take the 25 five to seven page junior essays home with you and get those finished? Did you want to grade the tests that my other classes took? Or how about those worksheets you all did? Do you want to read Oedipus and figure out what you're going to do to teach it to a bunch of freshmen? Or possibly you can figure out what my other classes are doing for me as well? Wanna give all your time over break, so I can grade your tests?

His face turned about five shades of red. He was quite embarassed, as he should be.

I was a little stressed out yesterday...had my evaluation...and I wasn't taking kindly to any nonsense.

Mental Health Day

2006-11-17T13:20:00.000-08:00

I've cried nearly every night for the past two weeks...most of the time for no reason whatsoever. The other night I drank a bottle of wine...yes, a whole bottle...to de-stress. I'm just over-whelmed with all that's going on. I've got some really needy kids, special ed. issues, and departmental issues to boot.

Thus, I took a mental health day today. I had a conference yesterday and am off today, and I feel a little guilty. I had something for my kids to do, but still. I'm just a control freak and hate leaving my room to someone else.

Oh, the parents....

2006-11-06T17:28:00.000-08:00

I had this very insightful post ready about how my mood affects my kids and blahblahblah...but it disappeared, and I don't have the energy to re-write it...so, I'm going to complain for a minute...or two...

I have a parent who took issue with her son's teachers, myself included. Instead of emailing us with her concerns, however, she waited until two days before the end of the quarter and emailed our superintendent and principal. They told her she needed to discuss her concerns with his teachers, so I got a nasty email from her and a visit from the principal.
Her issue was (and still is) that her son is failing. For the first half of the quarter, he didn't turn any homework in to me. He missed several days and didn't make up the work...never even asked me about it. I notified our freshmen intervention coordinator. I sent a progress report home to get signed by the parent (it came back signed). And I talked to the student's case managers (he has an I.E.P.). At that point in time, out of the fifty freshmen I have, twenty were failing. I couldn't call all those parents, hence the signed progress report. We were also told that case managers contacted parents in those cases (while they were told it was up to the regular ed. teacher).
Any student who didn't return the progress report got a phone call home, but because his was returned, I assumed she knew what his grade was. This cut down significantly on the number of phone calls I had to make, and my students began turning in homework, which was the main reason for poor grades.
After recieving this nasty email, I attempted to call her and never got a call back. A couple days later, I emailed her, letting her know I did attempt to contact her through the progress report and that her son had gotten better about turning in assignments. She didn't reply.
This mother was nasty to me and also to the student's other teachers and especially his case manager, so I decided if she wanted contact, I'd give her contact. I've now emailed her four times and called twice to date. I have recieved one nasty reply to my email where she asked if there was anything further to discuss. I told her that yes, there was.
I told her in no uncertain terms that her son is doing poorly because of his own actions. I told her that I'm holding up my end of the bargain by following the I.E.P., while she and her son aren't. I told her he's lazy and wastes time, and if he wants to earn a passing grade in my class, he better get his act together.
I have yet to hear from her.

What bothers me about the whole thing is that I feel like I'm treating the son differently. Normally when a student sits and does nothing when given class-time to work, I'll say something once. After that, it's a choice the student is making. But with this kid, I'm constantly on his back. He's been diagnosed ADHD and does not take meds, so this is a frequent thing. I don't lash out at the student, but I am watching him more closely...and I email what I see to his mother. If he sits for twenty minutes and stares at the wall, then I let her know that. I know I shouldn't be on him because of his mother, but no matter how hard I try, I do. It's very difficult not to...

a creative Halloween costume...

2006-11-02T18:13:00.000-08:00

Imagine the copy room...before school...on Halloween...

VCVB: Where's your costume?

Me: I'm going on a field trip this afternoon...didn't think I should go to the library dressed up. What about you?

VCVB: Well, I was going to wear a low-cut shirt and be Miss Anonymous, but...

I just stared at her. Dumbfounded. She did the awkward, joking laugh. I walked away, biting my tounge to keep from saying something really nasty.

Of course I couldn't let it go...the next day I wore a tighter, lower-cut sweater and my knee-high boots. It was a lovely time.

I'm going to...

2006-10-18T18:04:00.000-07:00

Lunch today...

An older teacher shared with us that one of his students referred to a "love muscle" during a speech. Shocked, I asked if he gave the student credit for the speech. He answered that, in fact, he did. I told him I wasn't sure I'd feel comfortable doing that, and I probably would've sent him out of the room.

Very conservative (very bitchy) teacher: Why wouldn't he give credit for that?

Me: with a dumbfounded look Do you know to what the student was referring??

VCVB: Well, yes. His heart.

Me: Um. No. His penis.

At which VCVB got up and left the table in a huff. That's what she gets for thinking I'm a whore because I wear knee-length boots with my skirts.

baseball fanatic...

2006-10-15T19:09:00.000-07:00

I'm very ambivalent when it comes to the post-season, especially this year. You see some of the most exciting games of the year during the post-season (the Detroit ALCS win, for example), but it also means the end of baseball for another year.
I love baseball...have since I was a kid. I'd watch games with my dad, quality time. I can remember sitting next to him on the couch watching the game, wearing our matching Cardinals t-shirts. He'd take me to as many games as he could, and I'd stuff myself with hotdogs and nachos, cheering whenever my dad did. I loved the entire atmosphere of the ballpark, even as a kid. I liked the smells and the people. Everything about baseball appealed to me.
Still does.
While I love seeing my Cards in the championship, I'm disappointed baseball will be over soon. I'm going to miss it.
But...Let's go, Cardi-nals!

the angels...

2006-10-15T17:55:00.000-07:00

I had a conference on Friday (which I won't even dignify by telling you what it was about), and my friend subbed for me. I had a couple classes I was nervous about, my lowest level freshmen class, to begin with.
Sub told me all my classes were angelic, but she had an interesting experience with my freshmen class. ED girl came in and said to her, "I'm only being nice to you right now because you're friends with Miss Anon, and she asked me to be nice. Otherwise I'd be mean right now." I'm not sure whether to be happy that she was nice or bothered by the comment...or both??

Parent/Teacher Conferences...

2006-10-08T17:33:00.000-07:00

Blech.

I had some not-so-nice parents meet with me. I'll just share the highlights...

The woman whose daughter isn't turning in homework in my class...she told me that her daughter has always loved language arts, so it must be me. She proceeded to tell me how I should teach...because apparently I didn't go to school to learn that.
"I know you're not paid enough to go above and beyond..." I wanted to say, "Well, I did become a teacher for the money, so that's kind of an issue."
The woman who implied that one of my students has a bad home life because his lesbian mother and her partner are the ones raising him. Apparently students like this can go one of two ways: they can emulate behavior and become effeminate or become loud and obnoxious.
The parent who asked why I didn't assign more homework...Well, I'm pretty sure I'm swamped with grading as it is, so I don't know that I'll be assigning any more than the assignment per night.
The 6'10" military man who told me that I'm young and attractive and his son can be very charming...so, he wouldn't want his son to charm his way into getting away with anything. Are you kidding?? I'm 24 years old. Does he seriously think I can be charmed by a 15 year old??
The woman who told me she knows her son is disrespectful and that he's the same way at home, and she simply does not know what to do with him....I've got a lovely idea...Punish him!
Smiling and attempting to be sympathetic throughout all this....

Needless to say, I'm glad they're over.

What a long, strange trip it's been....

2006-09-28T18:36:00.000-07:00

I have a student in my lowest-tracked freshmen class. Her IEP is thicker than some of the dictionaries in my room...and I'm talking real Webster's dictionaries. She is bipolar, ADHD and has defiant disorder (and these are just the highlights of her IEP).

When we started out the year, her case manager and I wondered if she'd even make it past the first week. We were petitioning to send her to a facility better equipped to handle her. I had to remove her from class at least three times a week. She was rude and disruptive. She was hateful and said very nasty things in such a nasty tone. I was at my wits end.

Her case manager and I tried several different ways to get her to behave. We simply had no idea what to do because no one had ever really tried before. They simply said, "Oh, that's ED." CM and I decided we would/could not put up with that behavior.

I'm not sure what finally changed her behavior, whether she realized she wouldn't get away with it or what, but she's a new student. To walk into my classroom, you'd never know that she was kicked out on a regular basis at the beginning of the year. She's even helping me plan a unit for next semester.

I've recieved several compliments from teachers who knew this girl over at the middle school. They've said she's changed completely, and they're convinced a lot of it has to do with me. I'm not saying I haven't gone above and beyond what was asked of me with this girl because I know I have. I go down on my prep to visit her (because half her day is spent in a contained classroom with CM). We sit and just talk. I've convinced her to join the Speech team, as I'm an assistant coach. I eat lunch with her occasionally and such. But I can't take credit for her behavior. She's learning to make better choices.

Anyways, the point of this post is, she wrote me a letter the other day...left it on my desk for me to find. (She likes to leave notes on my desk for me for whatever reason). It's not so much what the note says, as who it's from. But it's something I plan to treasure. I was shocked to recieve it and even more shocked to note who it was from. I had tears in my eyes when I read her signature in the bottom because I simply cannot believe how far she's come. I could not possibly be more proud of this girl.

Is this the way to go?

2006-09-24T17:11:00.000-07:00

Windows HS: Microsoft designs a school system

After three years of planning, the Microsoft Corp.-designed "School of the Future" opened its doors Thursday, a gleaming white modern facility looking out of place amid rows of ramshackle homes in a working-class West Philadelphia neighborhood.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. In fact, I think I'm frightened by it. While I like the idea of a digital school, I think students today are entirely too dependent on technology, and this will only be fostering that dependence.

The school is being touted as unlike any in the world, with not only a high-tech building -- students have digital lockers and teachers use interactive "smart boards" -- but also a learning process modeled on Microsoft's management techniques.

Students -- who are called "learners" -- use smart cards to register attendance, open their digital lockers and track calories they consume. They carry laptops, not books, and the entire campus has wireless Internet access.
Teachers, or "educators," rather than using blackboards, have interactive "smart boards" that allow teachers to zoom in and out, write or draw, and even link to the Internet.
There's no library, but an "interactive learning center" where information is all digital and a "multimedia specialist" will help out students.

Call me old fashioned, but I think computers are simply unreliable....maybe not always, but enough that an entire school of computers will create problems. But I suppose they will have the best tech-support team on the planet...

They're modeling this school after the Microsoft corporation. They're starting school later because studies have shown students learn better (and it's more like real-world hours), which I'm not opposed to, but they're also using "a learning process modeled on Microsoft's management techniques". I'm not quite sure what this means, but from what I gather from the school is being treated similar to the workplace. Again, not completely opposed to this, but when do kids get to be kids?? Why do we have to get them used to a workplace when they're in high school??

As you can probably tell, I have mixed views on this new school. And my thoughts aren't completely organized, as I'm shocked, I supposed.

What do you think?? School of the future? Or one of those education trends that comes and goes?

a compliment...from a teenager...

2006-09-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

I was in a ridiculously good mood last night because of a really small thing a student did. But it meant so much to me.

I worked last night at the bar. Saw a teacher I know from another school. She also coaches volleyball for that school. She met one of my little delinquents (one from my lowest-tracked class) because his girlfriend plays volleyball on her team. She asks if he knows me, and he tells her that he has me for English. She asks if he likes having me or not, and his reply, "Yea, she's cool. She does fun stuff to make us pay attention, and she won't let me sleep. And she calls me out on my bull without being mean about it."
That I do. He acts like it's awful when I do it when we're in class...but apparently he actually enjoys it. Anyways, put me in a good mood.

practicality...

2006-09-07T19:24:00.000-07:00

I have a pile of essays with my name on them. My juniors keep bugging me to get them back. They aren't completely graded, despite the fact that I've had them a week...
I tried to explain to them that they have one to write; I have 25 to grade...didn't make much of an impact on them. I told them I'd give them until Monday to finish their next essay if they give me until Monday to finish grading them...

Anyways, on to my question for blogworld...How long does it usually take you to grade and hand back essays? (They're 2-4 page narratives...25 of them...and I'm a tough grader)

...and breathe...

2006-09-02T15:21:00.000-07:00

longest. two. weeks. ever.

school has started again. in fact, the first day was two weeks ago...and this is the first chance i've had to blog. tell you anything about my first two weeks of school?? it should. it's been insane, to say the very least.

our cafeteria is over capacity according to fire code during both lunches. there are freshmen sitting on the floor because there aren't enough tables. kids who get down to lunch later don't get food until five or so minutes before the end of lunch bell rings. we've also had several fights break out during lunch...can't necessarily attribute this to the overcrowding during lunch, but i'm sure it doesn't help.
one of the teachers decided to take a leave...and made this decision one week before school began, leaving an open position and very little chance of finding a quality teacher to fill it. we had a day-by-day substitute for the first week or so. we now have a permanent teacher...first year, english...flakey as hell. there is a reason she didn't have a job when called in for this position. but the department and the administration is behind her, so hopefully that's enough of a safety net to help her out.
the school paid several hundred-thousand dollars for an electronic gradebook program...that doesn't work. there are "bugs" that still need fixed...and no one has been trained to use it. i'll stick with my good ol' paper and pen, red gradebook and and free, online, engrade.
i have 90 students and 25 I.E.P.'s...lots of add/adhd, lots of specific l.d.'s and a handful of miscellaneous disabilities and disorders...including a severe depression, a bipolar, a defiant disorder...i'll be attending a heck of a lot of staffings this year...

how did everyone else's first couple weeks go??

the lazy days of summer...

2006-07-30T16:49:00.000-07:00

i just spent my entire day seeing how little i could do.

going to see a show tonight at one of the downtown bars with the boy.

tried to have a glass of wine, but both opened bottles were not so good anymore. i suppose that means i'll have to open a new bottle...and finish it. wouldn't want it to go bad.

need to go figure out what to wear to this show. want to look cute.

you know you're a teacher when...

2006-07-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

still out at the summer camp. between the kids and the waitressing, i'm staying ungodly busy. but i like it that way.

out at camp the past two weeks i've had the 11/12's. they're an odd bunch...such a strange age. i might blog more about that later...

but i have this one little boy in my group. he is quite possibly the most obnoxious kid i've ever met in my life...most of the time. but there are times when he chills out, and he's a cool little kid.
anyways, the other day we took the kids fishing. as we're walking down the street, he asks my co-counselor, "what's that sign say?" she told him to read it. he attempted to sound it out, but failed miserably. so, she told him, "it says 'area'".
she told me about this, so i started asking him questions, pointing at things to see if he could read them, asking his alphabet, etc. i gave him a sheet of paper and asked him to write down his alphabet. i got "A, B, C, F, E, D..." at that point i started coaching him through it. he'd sing the alphabet song until he got to the letter he needed, then he'd write it down and start all over again.
we got to "K", and i asked him what comes after it. he thinks, sings the song, then says, "LEMONEN-O....O is next." i asked him what all that stuff before "O" was, and he told me it was just part of the song.

so, i've been looking for books and worksheets to give to him to teach him at least some basic reading skills. he's going into sixth grade and doesn't even know his alphabet. and he knows he's behind. he's really embarassed by it.

i was talking to another counselor who's going to school to become an elementary school teacher, and he said something along the lines of, "we've failed this kid."
i don't agree though. i don't think "we've" failed him yet. public education has failed him thus far. and i think it's a combination of his home life (which has been very jumbled, with him being moved from family member to family member), his hyperactivity and his teachers. from comments he's made they simply didn't want to deal with him, so they continued to pass him despite his reading ability (or lack thereof).

but he can still be saved. he's only 11 years old. it's not like he's 16 and ready to drop out of high school. his grandparents are working with him on his reading at home, and i've been trying to help him out at camp. hopefully this won't be chalked up on the "kill" side of public ed.

p.s. i wanted to go deeper into this, but i'm supposed to be getting ready to get to work (camp).

dodgeball champion of the world!!

2006-06-20T17:10:00.000-07:00

or at least summer camp...

i’m sitting on the boyfriend's couch decompressing after a really long day. i need to ice down my shoulder and chest. today i became the queen of dodgeball. the little boys were surprised to have their little butts handed to them by a girl.
the first kid i got out was teased mercilessly; after all, his ball was caught by a girl. score one, anonymous teacher. i proceeded to rack up the kills. i was much better at catching than throwing, but i was told, “wow. this girl’s got a rocket.” i may’ve hit a couple kids in their little heads…oops. i also knocked two kids off their feet. i throw hard, but i have horrible aim.

time to vege out in front of the television for a bit before i head home to bed...

oh, the joys of summer...

2006-06-16T18:46:00.000-07:00

summer camp has started...week one has, in fact, been put in the books.

seven and eight year-olds are a world away from my high school monkeys, but they are just as challenging. we had three bathroom accidents in four days. lots of lost clothes...you have to spell everything out for these kids...saying, "grab your things" isn't enough. you have to detail it for them: "remember to pick up your back-pack, your towel, your waterbottle, your bathing suit, your shoes, your head..." or they forget it then attempt to shift them blame: "but you didn't tell me to get my eyeball..."

i had the cutest camper on the planet...whenever anyone would ask him "what's up?", his response was "good". i finally got him answering "nothing" by the end of the week. i also taught him to say "two thumbs up like the fonz." he broke that one out in front of our camp director.

boyfriend head didn't think i'd do very well at this little kid thing, but they like me. i'm a little less motherly than the other counselors, but i'm not the babying type.

for example, a little girl walked up to me and held up her arm: "look at this" she tells me. i look. it's a little scrape. minimal blood. my response: "okay. and?" she just stood and stared at me. so, i asked if she wanted a bandaid, and she said yes...so i handed her one.

i am having fun, and surprisingly the smaller monkeys like me even if i am kinda gruff.

week one...down!!

perceived myths in education

2006-06-09T07:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, the book I was complaining about yesterday: Education Myths... by Jay P. Greene. (p.s. did you know educators get a 20% discount at b&n?)

Education practitioners, such as teachers, school administrators, and professors at education schools, are not necessarily reliable judges of an education policy's merits...[they] lack the proper perspective to assess questions of policy.

In his introduction, he devotes a bit of time trying to explain why people directly involved in education are poor judges of what works and what doesn't. He tries to say that we're too biased by our own "interests". I'm pretty sure one of my major interests is doing the best job I possibly can educating my students. So, wouldn't one of my main goals be trying to find the best ways to do so?

The first myth he attempts to dispel is the "myth" that more funding for schools means a more quality education. (also in this chapter he cites his own research after calling others with agendas biased...hmmm). He cites a whole lot of research saying schools get more money than they used to...that students haven't changed that much in the past thirty years...that increasing spending in education doesn't actually affect output. He even "dispels the myth" of the gap between spending in suburban vs. urban schools. Obviously a school without books can function just as well as a school with eight computer labs (note the hint of sarcasm).

I agree with him in that we are spending more than enough money on education; however, when one school can afford several golf carts to carry football players on and off the field, while another can't even afford books, there's a problem. Schools are adequately funded, but the money isn't distributed very well.
As to his assertion that the amount of money going into a school doesn't affect performance: duh. I agree there comes a point where it doesn't matter anymore (for example, will students learn more with $10,000 rather than $8,000 per student? probably not); however, tell the schools who can't afford to pay their teachers competitive salaries that spending doesn't affect education. And tell the schools who can't even afford the core classes, let alone the arts and extracurriculars that spending doesn't affect education.

I'm more incensed by this chapter than anything else. While I do believe Greene brings up several points that must be addressed (the idea of dispersing the funding, how much is too much?, etc.), I think he is a man with little or no experience in education who really doesn't fully understand what is going on. He looks at the facts and statistics, but he looks at them as a national average. When you look at facts in that way, it appears to be balanced; however, that's because there are schools that have money coming out their nose...then there are schools who are holding classes in a rollerskating rink because the building is falling apart (this is a fact he actually mentioned in this chapter).

I still have many more "myths" to read through, but I have to stop for now. I can only handle so much of the pompous, know-all attitude.

ugh!! so difficult to stay anonymous...

2006-06-08T21:16:00.000-07:00

must. not. give. specifics. GAH!!

p.s. just bought education myths dennis has been talking about. read one chapter, and got so pissed off i had to put it down (by chucking it across the room nearly hitting my poor innocent by-stander kitten). the boyfriend has outlawed the book from his home, saying it gets me a little too worked up.

if you really want to get your blood boiling, read this book. even the excerpt amazon featured made me angry.

i'm sure i'll have a lot more to say about it if i can get through a page without throwing the book...or wanting to rip out the pages.

on that note, i think i'm going to write this man a nasty letter...

planning...

2006-06-04T20:49:00.000-07:00

i've started my planning for next year...

if anyone has any really good ideas for teaching writing to lower-tracked students, please let me know.

i'm really excited for next year. i got all the classes i asked for--i suppose because no one else wants the lowest track...i'll have so much more freedom with them though. i've already come up with some ideas:

a slave narrative (non-fiction) in connection to to kill a mockingbird. i love looking at the social context of tkm. and the slave narrative will let me get into that a bit more.
also for the sophomores, we're going to do a lot of summarizing. once a week, i'm having them bring in a textbook from another class, and they're going to have to practice summarizing what they're doing.
i'm working on bellringers for all the classes.
my freshmen will be reading "the most dangerous game" in a short story unit...then we're going to move on to treasure island and talk about the adventure novel...also coming of age stories. then i'm going to have them write a coming of age story about themselves (narrative).
also, my freshmen will read a part of a christmas carol and write a compare/contrast paper about it and the film scrooged.
i'm going to begin both classes with a mystery story. i'd like to get them looking at "clues" in literature.
i have to find a play for my juniors to read for their literary analysis essay. i want something they'll be interested in but also something they can write about. suggestions?

i will be ridiculously prepared come august...

p.s.

2006-05-30T17:46:00.000-07:00

i'm working on making my blog pretty...one small step at a time.

blogworld's #1 fan...

2006-05-30T15:58:00.000-07:00

i just wanted to let you all know i appreciate the discussions we have in blogworld...and the advice...and the support. despite not knowing one another face-to-face, i feel like i've got a support system all over the place.

i was talking to another teacher today, and i realized why i'm such a big fan of the blogworld: i love to teach, and i love to talk about teaching. i know others at my school, when they leave the building, they want nothing to do with education...but i'm the opposite: i could talk about my job and my kids and what i'm doing until the cows come home. and this blog gives me an outlet for it. and you all give me a responsive audience.
whether through advice or criticism or just general discussion, i've learned a lot about myself and what kind of teacher i want to be through this blog...

so, on to the purpose of all this hallmark stuff: for my junior composition class next year, i'm asking them to keep a blog. i have to find a more manly way of putting this, but basically i'd like them to keep a record of their feelings...and i'm not talking mushy, kodak type stuff. but their feelings on what they read, what they see, what they know, etc. this is still an idea in the works, but i think it's a good one. i'd be incorporating technology and writing and also reading.

any ideas or helpful hints on making this successful? (it's for a lower-tracked, junior composition class. there will be mainly boys in the class, and a lot of them will have learning or behavior problems).

comment response.

2006-05-29T08:24:00.000-07:00


Dennis Fermoyle said...: The second difference is that I teach high school, and I set up my classes so that any student who makes an honest effort will probably do quite well, but the kids who don't try won't even come close to passing. By the second half of the year, some of my most apathetic kids have figured out that they're not going to make it in my classes, so they ask to be sent to our Alternative Learning Center. Sometimes these are kids who behave poorly, and to be honest, I'm never sorry to see them go. I know that it is politcally incorrect to say this, but getting rid of just a few kids who don't try and don't behave really helps because the classes become better, the students who remain start learning more, teaching becomes more manageable for me, and the chemistry of the classes gets better and better. Usually, as the year goes on, my classes and I like each other more and more.

7:59 PM
Ms. H said...: Yes, AT, we have been going about it all wrong. Rather than investing our hearts and souls into not only the education of these children, but also their souls...we should figure out how to run them off so our job gets easier as our class dynamics improve over the course of the year.
I'm sorry...but I don't remember taking any classes in college that told me running kids off was the secret to being a successful teacher. I also don't remember them telling me it would be easy.
I always thought if it was easy, that meant I wasn't doing my job....which is educating ALL of the kids. Especially the ones who appear to be apathetic and/or behavior problems. My experience (and I've been in the education field 12 years) has been that the "problem" kids are exactly who I'm here to teach. It's these kids that will be the difference in our society...better to have reached them in grades K-12 than to finance their lifelong lodging in a maximum security prison.

I truly hope that I never become as jaded as public education's self-proclaimed "defender". Keep fighting the good fight, AT, it's worth it.

9:59 PM
Dennis Fermoyle said...: Ms. H, saying that you will learn to structure things at the end of the year to make things more manageable for yourself is hardly telling someone that they've been "going about it all wrong."

I would challenge anyone to find any student I've had, any parent who knows me, or any teacher I've worked with who would describe me as "jaded" in the job I do. Obviously, we have different philosophies, but I'm not going to describe yours as evil in some way, and if you worked with me, I don't think you'd describe mine that way, either. You believe you need to reach every student, and I admire your effort to do that. I'm sorry, but I don't think that's practical, and I'm afraid that when we try to do that, we're hurting kids who are truly interested in getting an education. I also believe that at the high school level, when we try to hang on to kids who have absolutely no interest in getting educated, that they sometimes influence other kids to adopt their self-destructive ways. In other words, instead of losing just one, we end up losing two, or three, or four.

I believe public education is about giving opportunities to kids. I try to set my class up in such a way so that every student can be successful. I've never been more proud than when a young man who was classified as EMH earned a straight A by scoring 98 percent on a rather long American history final I gave to a basic class a few years ago.

But while I want every kid to have the opportunity to be successful, I can't MAKE them choose to do that. I can encourage them, I can try to motivate them, and I can do everything I can to make my class as interesting as possible. I'll talk to the kids, I'll send letters home to the parents, and I'll meet with them. Sometimes it works. I've had students fail the first quarter, make the decision to start trying, and end up getting Bs later in the year. But I've also had my share of students who never decided to make that effort. When that happens, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to pass them. And when those students head for our ALC, it does make their classes better, and it does make things easier for me, and I'm not going to apologize for that either. They've made a choice--I don't think it's the best one--but I'm going to respect it.

...; You and I have very different approaches, but I wouldn't ever presume to tell you that you need to do things my way. If after twelve years, you honestly believe you can reach every kid, and if you're having success at that, I've got nothing but admiration for you. Any teacher who tries their hardest at their job, like you do, and believe it or not, like I do is a public education defender.

6:12 AM

since it's my blog, i'm going to share my views on this. i'm not trying to offend anyone. i'm also not saying that what anyone else is doing is wrong. there are many ways of being a good teacher. this is simply what i think and practice.

i worked parttime in an alternative school setting while i was in college. for three hours every monday, wednesday and friday, i had twelve students who either got kicked out or dropped out of their traditional high school. some of them were there because they wanted to be: they were trying to get their g.e.d. there were others who had to be there: the school was forcing them to make up credits while they were out of school. i had two who were kicked out because of violence against a teacher. i had several who had chosen not to do the work, and the high school refused to put up with it anymore. i had a pregnant teen who chose to drop out and get her g.e.d. so that she could start college sooner. it was a motley crew...and, dear lord, i was terrified my first day...and my first week...and, really, if i'm being completely honest, my first month. this experience created who i am as a teacher, though.
through my coursework, i worked with those students who wanted to learn...or who at least participated in class and did their homework. they were fun. i loved their enthusiasm. i loved that i didn't have to ask them multiple times to do their homework. i loved that i could take them to the computer lab and not have to worry about a paper airplane being shoved in a disk drive. i really loved that i didn't have to worry about some sort of behavioral outburst.
i was working with both student populations at around the same time. days i didn't have to work at the alternative school, i was going into the traditional high school for observations and practicum experiences. working with the different student dynamics like this let me really compare the two.

i realized about halfway through the semester that the kids in the traditional school would make it without me. they may not have enjoyed school, but they were involved in their education. they would make it where they wanted to be with or without my help because they cared.
my alternative school kids were the ones who need a teacher...some sort of help in life. this is one of the many things i've taken with me from that experience. i want to teach those students who need a teacher. i know i can't reach them all, but i can give it my best effort.

i feel like this has become somewhat after school special-ish...and i apologize for that. i just feel very passionately about my delinquents. i've found my calling, i suppose.

i feel like i was grounded.

2006-05-27T07:56:00.000-07:00

i am aware that it's been ten days. i haven't abandoned this blog, but it's the end of the school year. all of you know what that means...grading, cleaning, and just tying up general loose ends.

all but one of of my little delinquents earned an "a" or "b". the one who didn't chose not to turn in a major project just to be a pain.

i'm already starting to plan for next year. i want to be on top of the game...ready to go come august.

i'm sure i have stories from the hiatus i took, but for the life of me, i can't think of any. my mind is gone.

stick a fork in me...

2006-05-18T18:34:00.000-07:00

it's almost summer vacation. my mind is gone.

my baseball boy is still doing well. he's smiling more and more every day. i'm going to his game tomorrow. they're playing a really good team, so he says i have to stay until the end this time.
i talked to guidance, and i've made sure they put him in my class next year. i told her that i can reach him.

on to the big news...there is a young girl at my school who has a genetic heart problem. over this past weekend, she had complications and needed a transplant. she recieved her heart after only three days of waiting.
now, obviously this is an expensive procedure, and the parents are swamped. so, her counselor decided to fundraise to donate money to the family...somehow (i still haven't figured out how) i got volunteered to head up this effort. i organized a change drive competition among all the classes. the counselor and i were thinking we'd make $1000 or so...in four days we've made over $5000!! it's amazing how the school is banding together.
i'm amazed by the amount of money students have donated and also by the generousity they've shown. it's so heart-warming to see the students behaving this way. sometimes i forget they're not little monsters all the time...
with the way things are going, we'll make several thousand dollars tomorrow...everyday we've doubled what we made the day before...

as great as it is to see, i'll be glad for tomorrow. raising five grand in four days is exhausting.

...

2006-05-13T16:34:00.000-07:00

i went to visit my gram's grave for the first time since she passed away.
it's cold outside, so today wasn't the best day to go. and i don't know what possessed me to stop. but i was driving by, and i just had to see her...or what i've got left of her. it's not much.
they haven't even added the date of her death to her headstone. grass hasn't even started to grow over her. no one has put flowers on her. she was always the one who remembered to do those things.
that might be my mother's day present for her...i'm going to steal a tulip plant from her garden and plant it for her.
i just wish she could see me now. and i wish i could go to her when things were rough. i never knew how difficult this would be, and i know she'd understand.
i sat there for an hour talking to her. it was strange talking to a headstone and dirt. and i kept saying that. i felt like a nutjob, but i had to talk to her. even if she can't hear me.

i just had to remind myself that i do what i do because of her because sometimes that gets lost in all the mess that goes along with teaching.

a post interrupted.

2006-05-12T17:08:00.000-07:00

i miss blog-time. i haven't had a lot of free time this week...and when i've had time, i haven't had my computer.
i've decided to continue looking for a job. i tried to explain this to the boyfriend earlier, and he didn't really get it. i suppose unless you're there, you wouldn't.
i started to attempt, but it's pointless. just know i'm unhappy. i love teaching, but i dread going in to work. so, i'm once again on the job market...however, this time i have a definite job in case i don't get anything else.

question for blog-world...is it better to stay at a job where you know the pitfalls or go somewhere new with the hopes of it being better?

you won the battle...but i will win the war.

2006-05-06T11:15:00.000-07:00

took my student council kids on a field trip this weekend. it was state convention. my kids have taken on a lot of district responsibility for the up-coming year, which means i have to take on a lot of district responsibility in the up-coming year...because beginning my first full year of teaching isn't enough...

we had some fun on the trip. went to dinner last night. one of my students suggested a posh restaurant downtown. he made reservations for us and everything. when we got there, the kids were looking at the menu and realized nothing was under $20. they're in high school...most of them can't afford that. and even the ones who could really would prefer a cheeseburger. i didn't want to be rude and simply walk out of the restaurant, so i had one of my students fake sick. i told the waiter that we all had to go because i couldn't leave them downtown alone.
we went next door and had fondue. it was so fun. the kids and i both loved it. the food was good, and it was one of those things that are fun to eat.

what a good example i set for my kids, huh?

as a first-year teacher/advisor, i felt like some of the older advisors were kinda watching me...waiting for me to mess up. and one kid made it difficult not to give them a good show. he's a good kid...just likes to push boundaries.
we were in one meeting, and i noticed his shirt...

imagine something along these lines.

i told him he needed to go back to our hotel and change...so, he did...into one that said "Male Escort." *i couldn't find a picture of this one, as all that came up on google were for actual male escorts*. i again sent him back to the hotel to change. i told him if he didn't have an appropriate shirt in his bag that he needed to simply stay in the hotel room.
he came back. in a pink polo. i thought it was fine.
later, i happened to look at the little emblem on the left side (you know the one all polos have)...definitely humping alligators. yes, humping alligators. by this time we were getting ready for dinner, and he was changing anyway. but jesus pete!! i almost made him stay in the room while we went out to dinner, but i figure if i didn't notice...heck, if the kids didn't even notice, then there wasn't any point in getting upset about it.

choose your battles, grasshopper...

and it's my day off!!

2006-05-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

took the day off today. haven't had one all semester. i just needed a break. i would've been a waste of a teacher if i would've gone in today, so i simply didn't.

did get an email from guidance counselor about cheater...

Miss Anonymous,
Cheater's dad had left a message on my voicemail Friday regarding the email
that you sent him. He is saying that he doesn't think Cheater even
realized that what she did was wrong . . .

of course she knew what she did was wrong!! i only explained parenthetical citations every single day we worked on the essay. i only gave them the definition of plaigarism ten million times!! yes, she knew what she did was wrong. are you kidding me?!
guidance is in full support of me, as is a.p. bulldog. i just can't believe this parent would attempt to allow his daughter to get away with something like this. it's ridiculous.

but it's my day off, and i'm not dealing with him today. i emailed the details of the assignment to guidance. i also let her know the essay, the website it was copied from and the write-up are either with a.p. bulldog or in my mailbox. let them deal with it today. i'll have my hands full of it tomorrow, i'm sure.

i must be a moron...

2006-04-30T15:57:00.000-07:00

in my excitement over shyboy's baseball game, i forgot to tell you about my first experience with real plagiarism.

i was reading an essay (which was turned in two days late), and i realized there was something funny about it...first off, it wasn't the student's usual writing. and secondly, for this essay, they were required to have three sources...she had twelve!! if that doesn't tip me off, i don't know what will.
so, i "googled" her topic. funny, guess what i found. yup, her essay. she had simply copied and pasted from google. i was livid...not even so much because she cheated, but moreso because she thinks i am that stupid that i simply wouldn't notice.
i confronted her about it. took her aside towards the end of class.
and i asked her: cheater, do you think i'm a moron?
cheater: no, miss anonymous. of course not.
me: okay, then why in the world would you think i wouldn't notice when you copied your essay from google?
cheater: i'm just so stupid. *insert fake tears here*
this girl knows how to work the system. she thinks she can scrounge up some tears, berate herself a little, and everything will work out for her. and with other teachers it does. i was too angry to let it fly.
she received a zero on the essay, a zero on the speech that was written from the essay, and the documentation will go in her file.

i just don't understand in this day and age how students think they can get away with things like that. really, nowadays, if they want to cheat, they're going to have to be awfully creative.
and some of them are...i've heard of students taking pictures of tests with cell phones and selling them. i've seen students share answers through myspace. i've heard of students programming things into calculators.
what happened to a good, old-fashioned crib sheet?

and because of the power of the internet, kids can share cheating strategies...i really wonder if they realize that if they can access a webpage, then we can too. oh. no. just kidding. we're idiots.

like here...

and here...

i've got a buggy!!

2006-04-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

ms. h has her squashed bug, and now i've got the shyboy (who didn't smile at me until a couple weeks ago).
baseball is his passion, and the season has started. he invited me to a game (which surprised/shocked/amazed his other teachers when i mentioned it to them). i couldn't believe he actually asked me if i'd go to his game, so, of course, i went. it was so wonderful/painful to watch. he's an amazing ballplayer. but he gets so down on himself if he makes a mistake...which he also does in my class. he played short for the first four innings then was moved to pitcher. and i could see his whole body crumble after each bad pitch. i could imagine how his face fell (because it happens in my classroom when he doesn't understand something)...

and now i know why...his dad is an asshole of the highest calibur. while i may disagree with parents and get irritated with parents, i'm not one to call them horribly nasty names unless absolutely warrented. but this dad...it disgusts me when i think about it. after every single play/pitch/at-bat, dad had a comment...and you can bet your butt it wasn't in any way, shape or form encouraging. most of them were ridiculously demeaning, and some were even downright nasty. i hope shyboy couldn't hear him from the stands (although i'm sure he heard it after the game).
i made sure to try to counter whatever dad was saying by cheering extra loud. i think i embarassed shyboy.

i talked to him the next day in class, and i made sure to compliment him on everything he did well. after class, i told him that i thought about going down to say bye when i left and tell him how well he was doing, but i figured his baseball buddies would give him a hard time about that...apparently it isn't cool to be buddy-buddy with the teacher. i got a shyboy smile from that one.
i'll be going to more baseball games...and maybe i'll bring a bullhorn or something to drown out nastydad.

forward.

2006-04-24T19:29:00.000-07:00

i've got my hands full tonight with getting midterm grades ready. but i got this from the reflective teacher. thought it was worth reposting...
Schools today….

“Where are the heroes of today?” a radio talk show host thundered. He blames society’s shortcomings on education. Too many people are looking for heroes in all the wrong places. Movie stars and rock musicians, athletes, and models aren’t heroes; they’re celebrities. Heroes abound in public schools, a fact that doesn’t make the news. There is no precedent for the level of violence, drugs, broken homes, child abuse, and crime in today’s America. Education didn’t create these problems but deals with them every day.

You want heroes? Consider Dave Sanders, the schoolteacher shot to death while trying to shield his students from two youths on a shooting rampage at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. Sanders gave his life, along with 12 students, and other less heralded heroes survived the Colorado blood bath.

You want heroes? Jane Smith, a Fayetteville, NC teacher, was moved by the plight of one of her students, a boy dying for want of a kidney transplant. So this woman told the family of a 14 year old boy that she would give him one of her kidneys. And she did. When they subsequently appeared together hugging on the Today Show, even Katie Couric was near tears.

You want heroes? Doris Dillon dreamed all her life of being a teacher. She not only made it, she was one of those wondrous teachers who could bring the best out of every single child. One of her fellow teachers in San Jose, Calif said, “She could teach a rock to read.” Suddenly she was stricken with Lou Gehrig’s Disease which is always fatal, usually within five years. She asked to stay on job… and did. When her voice was affected she communicated by computer. Did she go home? Absolutely not! She is running two elementary school libraries! When the disease was diagnosed, she wrote the staff and all the families that she had one last lesson to teach…. that dying is part of living. Her colleagues named her Teacher of the Year.

You want heroes? Bob House, a teacher in Gay, Georgia, tried out for Who Wants to be a Millionaire. After he won the million dollars, a network film crew wanted to follow up to see how it had impacted his life. New cars? Big new house? Instead, they found both Bob House and his wife still teaching. They explained that it was what they had always wanted to do with their lives and that would not change. The community was both stunned and gratified.

You want heroes? Last year the average school teacher spent $468 of their own money for student necessities… workbooks, pencils… supplies kids had to have but could not afford. That’s a lot of money from the pockets of the most poorly paid teachers in the industrial world.

Schools don’t teach values? The critics are dead wrong.

Public education provides more Sunday School teachers than any other profession. The average teacher works more hours in nine months than the average 40-hour employee does in a year.

You want heroes? For millions of kids, the hug they get from a teacher is the only hug they will get that day because the nation is living through the worst parenting in history. An Argyle, Texas kindergarten teacher hugs her little 5 and 6 year-olds so much that both the boys and the girls run up and hug her when they see her in the hall, at the football games, or in the malls years later.

A Michigan principal moved me to tears with the story of her attempt to rescue a badly abused little boy who doted on a stuffed animal on her desk… one that said “I love you!” He said he’d never been told that at home. This is a constant in today’s society… two million unwanted, unloved, abused children in the public schools, the only institution that takes them all in.

You want heroes? Visit any special education class and watch the miracle of personal interaction, a job so difficult that fellow teachers are awed by the dedication they witness. There is a sentence from an unnamed source which says: “We have been so eager to give our children what we didn’t have that we have neglected to give them what we did.”

What is it that our kids really need? What do they really want?

Math, science, history and social studies are important, but children need love, confidence, encouragement, someone to talk to, someone to listen, standards to live by. Most teachers provide upright examples, the faith and assurance of responsible people.

You want heroes? Then go down to your local school and see our real live heroes. The ones changing lives for the better each and every day!

Now, pass this on to someone you know who’s a teacher, or to someone who should thank a teacher today. I’d like to see this sent to all those who cut down the importance of teachers. They have no idea who a public school teacher is or what they do.

job offer...

2006-04-21T17:01:00.000-07:00

apparently my interview yesterday didn't go that badly. they told me yesterday that they wouldn't be calling until at least april 28 because that's what the deadline for application was; however, the principal called me today and told me that he and the teacher who sat in on the interview called the superintendent immediately and told him that they didn't need to do anymore interviews...they want me. i asked him if i could have until tuesday to decide.
i'm beyond excited to have a job offer, but i don't know what to do. it's a nice school...smaller than the one i'm at now. but i had an interview today (they said they'd call with their choice this weekend), and there's another school in the area i'd really like to work at (the one whose principal i called yesterday.

i think my plan is to see what the school i interviewed at today says, call the school i'd like to work at on monday and see if i can set up an interview, let the principal of the school i'm at now know that i've got a job offer and then make my decision from there.
i go from spazzing because i don't have a job to spazzing because i've got an offer. gah!!

interviews...blech.

2006-04-20T15:09:00.000-07:00

hm. so i may've been a little nervous for my first interview, and i may've talked like the micromachines man.
i'm usually a really good interviewer; however, before it was for jobs that didn't really matter much to me...this is my career...little more important. i think what i said was intelligent.
also, called a principal about the status of my resume...making sure he had everything/reminding him about little ol' me...and he said he'd be calling for interviews next week. he then asked if i was looking anywhere else. i didn't really think before i spoke and told him about my two interviews. i'm sure i sounded like a spaz, but he seemed nice...hopefully he didn't think anything too bad.
i will do better at my interview tomorrow.

the good, the bad and the ugly...

2006-04-18T12:47:00.000-07:00

the good...
saw smiley, fellow first-year this morning. walked in with him. he was joking, as always. very good way to begin the school day.

got my boards cleaned up and the weekly calendars put up...and still had time to grab mail and breakfast before department meeting (which doesn't go on the good list).

my first-hour kids were really into masque of the red death. they even indulged me when i had them close their eyes and imagine things...or maybe they were sneaking in a quick nap.

my seniors missed me. we even had a discussion of "their language" vs. what i had when i was growing up. it was quite amusing...and they were still surprised to learn i know the meaning of "skeet skeet".

3rd, 5th and 6th hours i had scheduled a quiz, so i had time to look at essays.

i let my weasel know that in no way, shape or form was i going to allow him to be my friend on facebook. he laughed and asked why not, saying, "but miss anonymous, i thought we were buds!!"

about 1/2 hr. ago smiley fellow first-year asked me out on a date...again. he's an attractive man, and as i said, he's really fun. what an ego boost!! (obviously i said no. i'll keep my geek)

the bad...

beginning the first morning of the week...especially after a break...with department meetings just rains on my parade!!

punky is still in in-house...she has to fix her essay and make up a quiz. she's going to be so pissed when she gets back!! a regular bundle of joy, i'm assuming.

i still have essays to grade...and there's a new stack of quizzes to work on.

discussing union stuff during lunch. gah!!

having a haircut tomorrow when i'd rather be at student council...but i have to be pretty for my interview.

the ugly...

one of my first hour girls stopped me in the hallway on my way to class. she had a black eye and looked as if she'd been crying. she told me she had to go down to counselling. i didn't see her for the rest of the day. and i'm worried like it's my j-o-b.

it was definitely him.

2006-04-17T13:48:00.000-07:00

the boy realized the error of his ways. had a midlife crisis at the ripe age of 24. and for the price of a banana split and a lunch brought to me at school, i accepted his apology. he's got some sucking up to do. but at least he's not a lost cause....he realized he's miserable without me. he's lucky i'm understanding.

he's going to read this, and i'll definitely hear about it later :)

it's not me; it's definitely you.

2006-04-16T15:32:00.000-07:00

when you change your relationship status on facebook, it asks if you're sure you want to break-up with the person. if i say "no," is facebook going to send him a message saying "i'm sorry, but she doesn't want to be broken up"?

thanks for looking out for what i want, facebook.

not teaching-related.

2006-04-15T00:53:00.000-07:00

i could've written about this on my other blog...my non-teaching blog. but all my real-life friends read that. and they'll find out soon enough what's going on. i'd rather not be the announcement to the world...or at least the people in my life. but i have to write about this somewhere...even if it's just for me. i'm rambling. big intro for something that to most of you won't be a big deal. but it is to me. in my little life, this is earth-shattering...or at least it's going to create a change of lifestyle...a huge change of lifestyle.
since i've written this big introduction, i feel there should be a drumroll or something...but there won't be.
just this. my boyfriend broke up with me. tonight at approximately two a.m. horrible time for a break-up *is there ever a "good time"?*
i thought things were going well *classic line from the dumpee, huh?* we went to a baseball game with a couple of friends. i drove *maybe that's why there was the two a.m. delay...i drove to and from the game. quite a distance.*
minor things happened in the car...at least i saw them as minor once they were worked out.
then, standing on a street corner after bars had closed, i was dumped.
the thing that bothers me is the suddenness of it. it just seemed to come out of leftfield. i don't know if it was a split-second decision or something he's been thinking about for a while. i didn't really get a whole lot of explanation. i tried to get one, but there wasn't anything. not even an "i'm sorry." i thought that was a requirement. there had to be some sort of apology or remorse...even if it wasn't real...just to keep up appearances.

most of my friends are single. and at times i envied them. they had freedom. they could come and go as they pleased. the only schedule they had to worry about was their own. they didn't have to answer to anyone but themselves.
but i'd think of what i had, and i'd consider myself lucky. i didn't have to deal with the dating drama they did. i had someone who was there for me...someone who'd help me out on fieldtrips. and someone to come home to. and cry to when i had a bad day. someone who'd workout with me and push me to do better than my best. someone who liked hearing my work stories and tried to understand what my job is like. i had someone who told me he was proud of me. i had someone who loved me *at least i thought so*.
it took me a bit to realize i wasn't really losing my freedom...i mean, i was somewhat. but i gained so much more in return. i don't know if i appreciated all i got in exchange.

but, no more stuff...just freedom.

and i've finally started grading the essays.

2006-04-13T14:22:00.000-07:00

so, punky's essay definitely had no citations. lovely. so, she's already angry with me because somehow it's my fault she took her cellphone off the desk and then lied about it. now i can only give her half-credit on her essay. i really don't want to. *contrary to popular belief, i don't take joy in students' failures*. but i told the students if they don't cite their information, that i would have to take it as plagerism, and they'd have to re-write their essay for half-credit. i feel that i can't go back on that because students will feel they can take advantage of me.
i wonder if it was anyone besides punky if i'd even really be worried about it...i just feel like she's not going to see her mistake. she's just going to think i'm out to get her.

any suggestions on how to handle this?

blog world...ideal for those nutjobs who choose to teach.

2006-04-12T20:02:00.000-07:00

earlier i had this really good blog all written up in my head. it was all about how ideal this little teacher blog has been for me...not just writing about my experiences, but hearing about and sympathizing with others. and the encouragement we provide for one another.

but i wasn't at the computer at the time...and now i can't get it back in all it's bloggy glory. and i don't want to write a mediocre post about this.

and the essays remain untouched.

2006-04-11T18:19:00.000-07:00

i've worked out twice the past two days for a total of six get-skinny hours.
i've had lunch with the boyfriend twice, as well.
i've started reading the biography of howard hughes he got me for christmas.
i've blogged several times. and played around in the blogworld.
i've played the sims compulsively, moving one of my sims into her own house.
i've made cookies and sent them to my friend in iraq.
i've mailed my resume to several more schools and had offers for four interviews...one of which is out-of-state.
i've eaten a little better than unhealthy.
i've made a trip down to my alma mater to visit some friends.
i've hung out with the substitutes.
i've made an outline for my student council meeting scheduled for monday.
i've done four loads of laundry.
i've taken several naps.
i've read 2 1/2 trashy romance novels.
i've created a rubric to grade my persuasive essays.

but i haven't touched the essays.

i miss my monsters...

2006-04-10T10:16:00.000-07:00

as much as i'm enjoying this whole doing nothing thing, i'm already missing the kids. they make me laugh...it's kinda boring without them keeping me busy.
i suppose i could work on that grading that's calling my name.

a teacher's spring break...

2006-04-09T13:22:00.000-07:00

i have 42 essays to grade over break. before i can grade said essays, i have to make a rubric for them. the english department at anonymous high doesn't believe in grading rubrics. bumbling department chair doesn't make a mark on students' essays...just a grade at the end. the students have figured out that he reads the introduction and conclusion and skims the rest. i talked to a couple students who did an experiment. they wrote an amazing beginning and end to their essays. they then wrote some serious paragraphs and sentences in the body and some random sentences having nothing to do with anything. both recieved a's. i made copies of said essays as dirt in case i ever need it. is that conniving? do i care? the rodent grades by the student...what i mean is, if she likes the student, the student does well. if she doesn't, well, that student had better find a different teacher really quickly. the head fem nazi beast *i'm all about women's lib; however, there becomes a point where some women take it too far. it's the man-hating i can't stand* does something similar, but instead of just looking at who the student is, she bases some of her grade on whether or not the student agrees with her views...she's also partial to estrogen. if you're full of testosterone, then don't plan to pass her class.
like with nearly everything i do, i'm anal about how i grade my essays. i don't want any parent to come back and bite me in the behind. so, i use a rubric. and i use a different rubric for each assignment. obviously i'm looking for different things in different assignments, and i let students know what i want on the prompt. i always try to make sure my prompt and my rubric match up. i sometimes even give assignments and rubrics to students in other classes to see if they think it makes sense.
anyways, i'm rambling...so, plans for spring break:

make rubric for persuasive essays.
grade persuasive essays.
look over term paper outlines.
score and enter vocab quizzes in book.
clean out remainder of grading from my bag.
work out on a daily basis.
find some time to be a lazy bum on the couch.
apartment shopping.

there's probably more, and i'll think of it eventually. i'm sure there will be a lot of blogging going on over here this week.

how i almost got fired...

2006-04-05T18:27:00.000-07:00

okay, so possibly i didn't almost get fired; however, i thought i was going to be. i was accused of losing and/or stealing a student's cell phone.
i will start my story by saying i usually love the anti-social punk kids. they are usually some of my favorites. i like a little spunk, but i'm not a fan of attitude...especially of the disrespectful variety.
as you may've already guessed, this story is about punky, who has a horrific attitude issue. she also doesn't do her work, spends class time doodling/putting on make-up/doing everything in her power to irritate the hell out of me, and to top it all off, my second biggest pet-peeve, texting people during class!! *damn columbine for making it so that students can have cell phones in school!! disclaimer: i mean that slightly tounge-in-cheek.* today makes three times that i've caught her texting...so, the incident happened as follows:

me: give it to me, now.

punky: what? *insert fake innocent look here*

me: *insert beastly teacher look here* do not insult my intelligence. give me the cell phone.

she hands it over, shooting me a nasty glare. i set the phone on the desk between my computer and my pens. i have a student finishing up a quiz on the other side of the desk *this will be important later*. the classroom phone rings, and it's asst. principal bulldog. he asks me to send punky down to the office...she's in trouble for something. i tell her she needs to go down there. she gives me attitude.

me: and when you come back tomorrow, make sure you've ditched the attitude. i'm entirely sick of it.

punky: what attitude?! just because i don't talk in class i have an attitude. *using said attitude while speaking*

me: that rude, disrespectful tone you just used. ditch the attitude or don't bother coming to class.

punky: whatever.

me: yup. that would be the one.

punky: *insert lots of eye-rolling and obnoxious sighing*

i was saved from listening to it all by a student in the back of the room who needed help with his essay. i jumped at the chance to get away. helped said student and made my way back to the front of the room. punky was gone, and funny, so was her cell phone.
i ask the student taking the quiz if she saw punky take it. she said "no" *and i will add that she and punky run with the same group of kids which could've imfluenced her answer* i search for it, then logically assume punky took it with her. so, i write her up not only for the cell phone and the attitude, but also for taking it from my desk.
take it to the office. explain the situation and tell secretary i want to talk to punky when she's done with bulldog. five minutes later, i get a call from the secretary saying that punky swears she doesn't have the phone, and she's pissed i lost/stole it. frantically i run upstairs and search the room we were in.
i then as quiz girl if punky took it. i explain to her that i could be in trouble, and i need to know the truth. she admits punky stopped at my desk "to talk to another student".
i call bulldog and tell him what happened...get a call five minutes later. he says she kept denying it. finally he looked in her bag...guess what he found...

first fieldtrip.

2006-04-03T18:11:00.000-07:00

i've officially lived through my first fieldtrip.
i definitely messed up along the way. (we may've missed a train...and i may've overslept one morning) but i brought all my students home. (i really will write more about what i learned and also the trip itself when i have the time).

also, i have two students writing persuasive essays about no child left behind. i'm interested to read them. i have one writing about religion in schools (despite my warning against that topic). i also have one writing against abstinence-only education. and i even have one attempting to disprove the moonlanding (the kid is a little odd, but i suppose it'll be interesting). then i have the usual: athletes are paid too much, year-round school, legalizing marijuana.

i love reading term papers, but man, do i hate grading them. especially with my honors kids. their parents are crazy!! one point off, and they flip out...i have to be able to adequately support any grade i give. gah! makes it a little high-stress grading.

update on angry kid.

2006-03-31T15:57:00.000-08:00

just figured i'd let you know what happened with angry kid.
i gave a copy of the note to an assistant principal, who gave it to the student's guidance counselor. i asked his guidance counselor what was going to happen with it, and she told me they called his mother...i looked at her, expecting her to finish what she was saying. she didn't say anything else. so, i asked her if that was all.
she told me the same thing his parents told me when i talked to them: "that's just angry kid." she ranted at me that he'd been picked on since third grade, and that football star must've said something to him (i was sitting on the desk next to him, and there was nothing said), and that she doesn't blame him because they're so mean and lalala.
all i will say is that i was not satisfied with this response. while i do believe picking on angry kid is wrong, i also believe that allowing angry kid to get away with this behavior is just condoning his actions. he's going to believe it's acceptable to respond this way. i suggested counseling, switching to another, quieter class, etc. but all i got was blame on the other students. i think everyone involved should have to take responsibility for themselves.
anyways....been on a field trip with the stuco kids this weekend. tell you about it later. gotta go get them up and on the train.

all i can do is joke.

2006-03-28T19:26:00.000-08:00

i really don't even know what to say to/about this, so i'm just going to tell you what happened...no commentary from the teacher's desk...okay, minimal commentary from the teacher's desk...what you would've heard/seen had you been a fly on the wall:

me: for those of you who weren't here yesterday, we're working on an in-class writing prompt. i want to know what you think women's role in society is.

i begin taking attendance, and my students chat. one had just gotten back from a trip and was talking about it. i've learned to give them a few minutes at the beginning, and they work for the rest of the hour. angry kid didn't like that.

angry kid: shut up!! no one even batted an eyelash. shut-UP!!

me: angry kid, i don't want to hear you yell "shut-up" again. it's disrespectful. at this point students were working on their assignment, brainstorming in small groups. i really didn't want to end their discussion because it was actually really interesting, so i suggested, angry kid, why don't you go to the library to work. no one else's discussion will disturb you there.

angry kid: no, i'm going to stay here.

i continue to take attendance.

angry kid: i'm going to the hallway to work. at this point no one was even talking, but he left...and on his way out, he apparently handed football star a piece of paper.

a few minutes later, i hear laughing and whispering. when i ask what is going on, football star (who is also my student aide during another hour) hands me a sheet of paper and tells me he thinks it's a threat, but he's not sure.
angry kid has written on the sheet of paper, "go forth and apply a shaving implement to your wrists."
a. we just finished reading shakespeare, so i believe that's where the poetic language comes from.
b. yes, he actually instructed another student to go slash his wrists.
c. football star has been in too many tackles and didn't get what it said.
i wanted to laugh and was totally disturbed at the same time.
this kid is angry. we've had several run-in's in the past, and he's had issues since he was young. i don't put up with his disrespect, and that's a problem for him.
he has this game he likes to play where he does a "silent protest." he sets his head down on the desk like he's sleeping, but he isn't. he's passive-aggressively pissing me off.
and everyone says, "that's just 'angry kid'". well, that's unacceptable behavior.
any suggestions on what to do with this boy? i don't want to do anything confrontational because, quite frankly, he scares me.
GAH!!

the weaseley ray of sunshine in my terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.

2006-03-27T14:26:00.000-08:00

as you have probably already deduced from the post title, today was not a good day. morning collaboration time was especially horrific this morning. bumbling department chair handed out official class assignments. they are called "official," but they are by no means definite. teachers can make arrangements with one another to switch classes if the switch is agreeable to each; however, because i'm not officially a permanent full-time teacher there yet, i have no say...my spot on the board was labeled "replacement," as i will be replacing a teacher who is retiring. the english hags acknowledged in the beginning that if i want the position, "replacement" is me, so you'd think they'd take that into consideration when changing around my schedule. not so much. only one teacher asked before taking a class from me. the rest just stole and switched, not taking me into consideration. i went from having two new preps and three i'd taught already to having four new preps, one of them being a class beginning for the first time next year.
the poor teacher who is taking the place of my mentor while she is on sabbatical will be teaching for one year and will have six different preps. not only will this teacher be totally overwhelmed, as i'm going to assume it will most likely be a first-year teacher, but the students will suffer. this teacher will barely be able to keep his or her head above water, so how in the world will s/he teach the students anything?
then one of my little delinquents tells me:

d: you know, i took your class because i heard you were a cool teacher, but i don't see what all the hype is about.

me: i refuse to be insulted in my own classroom. go down to the office and let assistant principal bulldog know what you think about me.

that was a good time. then there was the usual bologna: kids messing with computers in the computer lab, kids forgetting homework and begging for an extension despite the fact that i reminded them multiple times on friday, kids calling me a "b****" under their breath because i wouldn't grant said extension, kids spilling bottles of red juice and staining my floor, kids stealing my flag out of my room...the list goes on.

but i had a good teacher moment thanks to one of my weasels (a term i use for my sneaky sixth hour kids). i have a good rapport with this kid. i give him a hard time. he gives me a hard time. but i like him, and i think he likes me. he just makes me laugh because he's so weasely...but he's a good kid. he just likes to try to charm his way out of things and knows it won't work with me. he tries anyway, much to my amusement.
i just enjoy these moments...the moments when you know that maybe they don't think you're totally uncool...

why i became a teacher.

2006-03-26T20:34:00.001-08:00

when i was a little girl, i spent more time with my great grandmother than i did with my parents. she cared for me while they were at work. she took me to the mall on the weekends. she encouraged my bookworm-ish tendencies by spending hundreds of dollars on books for me. she's also the reason i chose teaching for my profession.
she taught for over forty-five years, and she had stories she'd tell me. sometimes they were funny, and sometimes sad...but they were always inspiring because of the smile she'd get when she thought about her teacher days. she was so happy to share those stories with me, and i could tell how happy teaching made her.
and her students. we'd be out to lunch or at the grocery store, and people would come up to her and tell her that she was their seventh grade english teacher...she hadn't taught for many years, and these former students looked old enough to be my grandfather...the fact that they still remembered her so many years later made a huge impression on me. she recieved christmas cards from students, valentine's day gifts from students...she even had one student dedicate a book to her. he sent her an autographed copy. this was a student she taught in fifth grade...remedial reading before and after school because no one else had bothered to take the time to teach him to read. i decided a long time ago that i wanted to be just like my gram. i wanted to inspire and touch my students the way she did. i wanted to make an impact on them so that years and years later they'd still remember me.
but most of all i want to make my gram proud.
last semester when i was student teaching, i'd go to her nursing home to visit her, and i'd tell her stories about my day. and she was always so excited to hear them. i could tell she was remembering her teacher days, and as i was telling her stories, i always hoped she was proud of me. i hoped she knew i was trying to be a teacher like her...one who gave everything to her students.
she passed away last october...right in the middle of my student teaching. i think the hardest thing about it was she never saw me as a real teacher. and i know it doesn't matter. she was proud of me anyways, but that was the one thing i wanted.
my goal is to someday be as good as she was. to be patient and kind and understanding. i know i sometimes let the unimportant things get to me, and i need to stop and remember why i'm teaching.
sorry to get all emotional on you all...i must be tired or something.

i should be grading.

2006-03-25T11:19:00.000-08:00

but instead i've been playing with my blog.
the other day we were talking about what they don't teach you in college, and from that ms. h came up with a sort of teacher forum to discuss all those things. i think this is a great idea. as i told ms. h in an email, i think people need to know what they're getting into before they start teaching. while i knew teaching would be difficult, i never realized how much it took. as i've said before in here, teaching isn't just discussing literature or grammar or composition. i have to deal with my kids' successes and failures just like i have to deal with my own. i have to deal with what's happening in their personal lives just like my own. they have things going on in their lives that i couldn't possibly comprehend, but i have to try. because they trust me, and they need guidance. and sometimes they don't know who else to turn to. i didn't know i'd be dealing with that when i first got started.
plus, the questions. i really do feel like a sideshow freak sometimes. they want to know everything. they apparently think teachers aren't real people.

good teacher day...

2006-03-23T18:51:00.000-08:00

today was funny, to say the very least.

we were in the lab today working on persuasive essays. before the bell, students were lined up at the door, and i hear, "what's an areola?" i freeze in my tracks, trying not to laugh. the little girl keeps repeating the word over and over, and a boy is laughing. my face turns red as she turns to me. i tell her i don't think i can say what it is, as my face is already tomato-ish without saying anything. no one else seems to know, and at this time the entire class is wondering what the word means. finally another girl speaks up and says she knows. i ask her to quietly tell the class what it is...in a not-so-inside voice with the lab door wide open, she shouts that "you know the colored part of your boob? the nipple? how it's dark? well, that's what it's called." i can see people in the hallway staring in at us, and my face turns even redder than before. all the rest of the class and i can do is laugh.
i'm beginning to wonder if i'm mature enough to handle this teaching thing...

kids these days...

2006-03-22T19:01:00.000-08:00

the primary/secondary source fight...
they don't understand when they get a magazine off a database it's considered a "secondary source." i've attempted to explain it several different ways, but they still didn't quite get how getting the article off a database is different from holding the actual magazine with the article in their hot, sweaty, little hands.
the l.r.c. is supposedly set up as a "research library," but really, that just means there's a computer lab and quite a few searchable databases. so, that really doesn't help my crusade for the primary source. that, and i kind of think the librarian doesn't even understand the difference between primary and secondary sources or why i'd want the students to have at least one actual magazine or newspaper article for their essays.

c's get degrees
my little delinquents will settle for c's. i don't understand where this mentality comes from, but i actually had one of them tell me today, "miss anonymous, why go for the a when c's get degrees?" i tried to explain the concept of taking pride in what you do and boosting the g.p.a. for college, but that made no impact at all.
i suppose it's better than the beginning of the semester when all the students felt that way. now i've got about half the class working for the a and half on the c mentality. i'm trying to go the "they don't think you can get a's route," and so far, like i said, it's working with about half the class.

the clothes...or lack thereof...
now that spring's coming, the girls are wearing these tiny skirts. when they bend over, i'm sure you can see their bums. and the boys and their pants down at their ankles...i swear, they're spreading hepatitis c. you've got the girls wearing these tiny skirts and thongs...they sit on the chairs, and you know all their "stuff" is on the chair. then you've got the boys with only a thin layer of cotton between themselves and yea...
i think i've taken this too far, but i'm a slight germ-a-phobe...and i'm disgusted with some of the clothes i've seen around school lately. i almost want it to be winter again.

selective hearing...
i know i didn't always listen to my teachers when i was in high school, but jesus pete, i have to write every tiny thing down...and even then they don't always get it. i refuse to be a mother to high school students. i'll remind them, but i'm not going to baby...i feel at some point they have to take responsibility for themselves.

i'm not that much older than my students, but the difference between me and my friends in high school and my students now is so dramatic. it makes me feel so old.
i mentioned that i'd been in the mall the other day, and i commented on the volume of the music in one of the stores...my kids all laughed at me and called me old. i don't even know what it's going to be like when i'm actually old.

SNOWDAY!!

2006-03-21T07:23:00.000-08:00

yes, today is a snowday. it means i have an extra day to grade and prep for the two new units i start on friday. let me tell you, after the events of this past week, i can really use this extra day.
i feel like the kid who didn't do his homework and got his reprieve. i didn't have grades done like i promised. i accidentally left some of my papers at school, but i got lucky. despite the snow on the first full day of spring, it's going to be a good day. i'm going to finish my teacher stuff, go workout (because i swear, teaching is making me put on the pounds), then it's out on the town with the boyfriend. not too late...will have to teach tomorrow.
i'm also going to get my resume ready. i'm just not sure if i can stay at the school i'm at now. the teachers hate their jobs...they're so negative and angry. principal stopped by yesterday afternoon to let me know, "i'll see you next week. i'm going to keep you here. i don't care how annoying they are (referring to the other teachers, because he knows i'm looking for another job because of them)."
time to play teacher...

quiet saturday...

2006-03-11T10:55:00.000-08:00

it's saturday. i came in to school to get some grading done, but for some reason i'm sitting here crying like an idiot. i don't know if it's p.m.s. or if i'm really this overwhelmed. they never tell you in school how difficult this will be. they teach you how to make unit plans and lesson plans, talk about classroom management, give you a few hours in an actual classroom, then they send you out into the world...and it's nothing like they say it will be.
students don't care. and the ones who do care have so much other shit going on they don't even know what to do with themselves. they don't teach you how to deal with the suicidal girl or the boy who has to work nights to feed his little sister and pay the rent and never has his homework done. they don't tell you that you'll spend hours on those unit plans, and the kids won't even bother to pay attention to you. they don't tell you that you'll find the end of your rope and then some. you don't learn about the long hours until you live them.
but i suppose they also don't tell you about that lightbulb that comes on over a kid's head. how you can actually see his face light up when he realizes he's found the answer. or that one student who comes in after school over and over again for help and finally gets the a. and how good it feels when one of them finally thanks you or tells you that you did a good job. or a parent calling to thank you for what you've done with his child. or when someone says, "oh, you're miss anonymous...so-and-so's been talking about you."
i know why i became a teacher...i just have to remind myself sometimes...it seems like lately the good teacher days have been few and far between.
or maybe i just have p.m.s.

tgif...

2006-03-10T18:45:00.000-08:00

it's been a difficult week. i have a student i worry will hurt me, and i have a student i worry will hurt herself. i had to call both their parents on wednesday.
one of my seniors has anger-management issues....major ones. he's threatened both teachers and students, and explodes at least once a day in my class. he hasn't threatened me verbally yet, but he's made me very nervous on several occasions. this boy is a very good student, but he's very lazy. he takes lower-tracked classes so he doesn't have to work as hard. it's his choice; however, he picks on the other students, treating them with a total lack of respect because they aren't on the same level as he is, and he is also bored in my class. we don't move at a fast enough speed for him. i've asked him several times to keep his comments to himself, and i'm to the point where he doesn't get a warning. when he is disrespectful, he has to leave the classroom until he cools off, and he can't come back in until he apologizes to the other student. wednesday things really got bad when he decided to sleep while i was giving background information to the tempest. he decided he already knew everything, so he put his head down. i asked him several times to keep his head up and at least humor me by paying attention, but from what i gathered he was passive aggressively disrespecting me. after about five times of asking him to keep his head up, i gave up, but when the rest off the class left, i said to him, "please don't sleep in class anymore. it makes me feel really disrespected." he glared at me. so i told him, "m, i know you're too bright for this class, and you feel like you don't need to pay attention to me. next time you plan to sleep through class, don't even bother coming because i don't want to be disrespected that way again." he glared at me, slammed his notebook shut, and walked out. i've never gotten such a hateful glare from a student...and i had a kid throw a desk at me he was so angry with me...so, i wrote him a detention, and i called his parents to let them know what is going on. they seemed supportive; however, what i got from them is "that's the way he's always been, so deal with it"...we'll see.
the next phone call was a bit more difficult. i have a girl i worry about. she's having a really bad time at home and at school. and i had to call her dad to try to figure out what i can do to help. i really like this girl, and i'm genuinely concerned about her, which made the phone call that much harder. even as i sit here typing, i want to cry for this kid again...she's just sweet, a good kid, and i'm at the end of my rope. talked to her dad, and he's feeling the same way. i still don't know what to do, and she hasn't been in class since the phone call. i want to call home to find out if she's okay, but i don't want to overstep that invisible line...
and to top it all off, this whole school stress is making me real life frazzled, and i'm taking it out on people i care about. i haven't been the easiest to deal with in the past week. i've been an emotional wreck...one minute crying, the next minute being angry, and the next needing a hug. this whole first-year thing is hard.
i have the weekend to re-group and catch up...and de-schoolify myself.

and tomorrow is friday.

2006-03-02T19:18:00.000-08:00

today was a good day. i let one of my little delinquents teach today. he rarely shows up to my class because he can't get up in the morning, so yesterday when he asked if he could teach, i was hesitant to say yes. but he promised to show up, and he did. he did an excellent job. not only did he take the time to read and understand the text, but he figured out a way to put it into terms his classmates would understand. they enjoyed his lesson, and i enjoyed having first hour off. i got to sit back and enjoy the show. and a good show it was.
seniors are funny. showing what dreams may come in connection with the inferno was a great idea. the kids are so caught up in the movie. they groan when i turn it off. i love it when kids get disappointed over the end of class.
i punished a couple immature boys by rewarding my kids who worked hard. let half the class go to lunch early, and i held a couple boys after class into their lunch. when the students asked why they couldn't go to lunch early, i told them, "i can trust those kids to be in the halls and not get me in trouble...not so much with you guys." they were more than a little angry. hopefully they think next time before they act like idiots in my class.
seventh hour prep is great. i get to spend the end of my day unwinding.

the funk continues.

2006-02-28T14:19:00.000-08:00

have you ever had a day where you felt like you just screwed up everything you attempted to do? welcome to my day. i don't know what my deal was...but it seemed as if everything i had planned somehow didn't work out the way i envisioned. i even had a conversation with my first hour class about it:

me: i'm really off today, guys. i don't know what my deal is, but i feel like one of those bad teachers.

my student: yea, miss anonymous, you're usually a really good teacher, but today you're kind of sucking.

nothing like my little delinquents to tell me like it is. i usually appreciate their candor...but definitely not today.

even during one of the worst sucky teacher days i've had so far, i had an awesome teacher moment...i have a student who is a good kid in my class...he's shy, but he's one of my favorites *not that i have favorites...*. he always has his homework done, always on time, very polite..apparently in other classes, he's not so pleasant. so, his baseball coach sends out an email to his teachers asking that we let him know of any problems because the kid is really into baseball. i emailed his coach and let him know that i know other teachers have problems with him, but i wanted to let him know how good of a kid he is for me. and blahblahblah. i talked to his coach later that day, and he seemed genuinely surprised and happy that this kid is so good.

so, i'm not the worst teacher in the world...

someone's got a case of the mondays.

2006-02-27T16:17:00.000-08:00

i hate mondays. i feel as if i'm not prepared for my day even though i've had the whole weekend to get ready. i just get out of grown-up mode, and it's difficult to transition. and today was like every other monday...
these morning collaboration meetings are a waste of my time. bumbling department chair rambles about how students needn't make connections in their education. today we wasted thirty minutes jumping from topic-to-topic with the english hags not simply ignoring any sort of idea i'd have, but instead being openly hostile towards me...because afterall what would a first-year teacher know? love collaboration...especially when i'm belittled for being creative or doing things differently. i'll just shut my door and keep doing what i'm doing.
thus began my morning, and it only got better from there...
my morning delinquents *and i use that term lovingly, as this is my favorite class* have a difficult time transitioning from weekend mode to learning time as well. so, i decided to take it easy on them *and myself* this morning and show a film. for whatever reason they were just slow on the uptake this morning, so i had to pause the film every few minutes and breakdown what was going on...this was frustrating for both myself and for them...
then came the best part of the day...where my students basically let me know that my hard work to make things educational and enjoyable for them was totally unappreciated. instead of giving review notes like the other teachers, i created a jeopardy game on powerpoint that took me two hours or so only to have my students criticize it then ask why i was getting so defensive when i got angry at their comments. i attempted to explain to them how i spend a lot of time crreating lessons for them, and they don't appreciate them. i was angry and upset, and i nearly started crying. i made them feel awful...i think i may've gotten them thinking...or possibly that's just wishful thinking on my part...

the rest of the day was relatively uneventful...thank goodness...