Saturday, May 13, 2006

...

i went to visit my gram's grave for the first time since she passed away.
it's cold outside, so today wasn't the best day to go. and i don't know what possessed me to stop. but i was driving by, and i just had to see her...or what i've got left of her. it's not much.
they haven't even added the date of her death to her headstone. grass hasn't even started to grow over her. no one has put flowers on her. she was always the one who remembered to do those things.
that might be my mother's day present for her...i'm going to steal a tulip plant from her garden and plant it for her.
i just wish she could see me now. and i wish i could go to her when things were rough. i never knew how difficult this would be, and i know she'd understand.
i sat there for an hour talking to her. it was strange talking to a headstone and dirt. and i kept saying that. i felt like a nutjob, but i had to talk to her. even if she can't hear me.

i just had to remind myself that i do what i do because of her because sometimes that gets lost in all the mess that goes along with teaching.

3 comments:

Ms. H said...

I think that was the best thing you could've done...it helps to take the time to re-find your center, your purpose...your passion for what we do.
I admire the strength it took. My hat's off to you, lady. :)

elementaryhistoryteacher said...

One of the toughest things I have found about growing up is the passing of loved ones. The change it brings. Once those grandparents, and great grandparents are gone a distinct change occurs in the family. I grieve over that change more and more lately as my family has undergone several passings lately. I don't think visiting a gravesite a crazy thing to do....I think it's a wonderful thing to do and your gram knows it is too.

Dennis Fermoyle said...

Congratulations, AT. You make me proud to work in a public school. This is exactly the type of thing that happens in thousands of public schools around the nation, but not enough people hear about it. There are so many people who say that God is not allowed in public schools. But look at what you and your school have done! If people can't find God in your school, maybe they'd better take a closer look.