Wednesday, August 08, 2007

The mating habits of freshmen...

For some reason my school dedicates two hours a day for eight days to freshman orientation. This isn't a required thing, but many of the more involved students (or students with more involved parents) attend. It's not fun by any stretch of the imagination, so students and teachers alike have to create their own fun...mine was watching the freshmen in all their immature glory.
They're like foreign beings to me. Even after nine months with the little buggers, they're still an alien species. I don't think I can express to you how much they still weird me out.
I did enjoy meeting the kids. It isn't like I had anything better to do (only reading several new books and planning for two new preps). I got paid to plan, which was really nice, and I got to interact with an interesting bunch of kids.

Two things I learned...

  1. Freshmen are immature. We were reading a portion of a geography textbook aloud, and the word "dike" came up. The boy who was reading couldn't even say the word he was laughing so hard. I tried to explain to him and the rest of the class what it was, but I'm not sure that anyone could hear me over the heyena laughter. Another example: I was breaking the students into pairs and had an extra person, so I told one group they'd be a "threesome". Big mistake. Again with the heyena laugh.
  2. Freshmen smell. For whatever reason they haven't figured out that deoderant is important. My room got so stinky after two hours of heat and sweating that I gave a lecture on the importance of personal hygeine. I let the boys know that after football practice they must shower. Apparently no one had told them that.

At one point I saw a little boy who had just come back from football practice (and, mind you, it's over 100 degrees out, and they practice for several hours) running around in his sweaty, dirty clothes. I think to myself, Hmm, that's disgusting. But I almost lost my lunch when he walked up to a young girl and rubbed himself on her. I shouted at him, asking what in the world he was doing.
His response? "It's my girlfriend. It's okay."
Why, exactly, would he think it's okay to rub sweat all over his girlfriend?

Nevermind...don't want to know.

11 comments:

New York City Teacher said...

hey! I am just starting my career in teaching and decided to start a blog. inspired by yours..

peace.

CrypticLife said...

Ah, such sweet stories.

I'd chalk it up to them being high school kids. Heck, there were kids when I went to high school who didn't bother changing out of their pajamas before going to school.

And then there were the ones who didn't bother to change from the day before.

happychyck said...

Smelly, sweaty freshman. Shudder.

Miss A said...

Maybe this is why I love my freshman babies so much!!!

M-Dawg said...

The joy of teaching freshman . . . they are such a pleasure to have in the classroom! Please Note: Sarcasm in my tone please! :-)

They are a unique "breed" - :-)

rookie teacher said...

Freshmen smell is an understatement ... what truly boggled my mind is when I had some of my 6 year olds that stunk of BO.

Tom said...

You think that's bad, chaperone a homecoming dance.

Mrs. Bluebird said...

Good gracious, you could have been describing my seventh graders!!! Does this mean they don't improve with age!?

Future Spanish Teacher said...

Freshmen are vile little monsters and I love it.

Oh, man, I was an ├╝bergeek in high school. Now that I've graduated, I've discovered that most people have grown up, but some of my more intellectually-inclined (RE: Theoretical Physics, Star Trek) friends have yet to discover the grandeur of having a body that doesn't smell like death wrapped around a moth ball wrapped around a bag of garbage.

Maybe one day I'll get a job at the Febreze Academy.

faye said...

Hilarious, bc when I taught 8th grade, I thought of them as so mature at the end of the year!!!

Of course, then I taught high school, and I have to say I'd go for sophomore and above, given the choice!

You are doing great. My first year teaching (last year) absolutely changed my soul; honestly, I thought I may have made a mistake changing my career to teaching, until about spring break. That was when my perspective took an overhaul, and EVERYTHING changed like magic in my room...I believe I changed more than all of my kids (who I intended to "save") all together. And I mean that. Your candid writings are refreshing. Keep it up.

Ms. Gee said...

HAHAHAHA! I have a hypothesis about why they are so immature that goes along with the smelly factor. I will outline it in my blog soon even though all the middle school teachers will form a lynch mob.